I was happy. But happiness with Reek came with its own kind of caution now. I had waited so long for him to come around that part of me still didn’t know how to relax all the way into it. Because now I knew exactly how much he could hurt me.
That was the part I could not forget just because he was finally loving on me right.
Still, I let myself have the night and wherever this love was headed, because I wanted to experience all that I could with him.
Eventually, we went to bed, and he stayed wrapped around me with one arm over my stomach and his breath warm against the back of my neck. I fell asleep like that, peaceful in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Then I woke up in the middle of the night feeling miserable. My lower back was killing me. My bladder was full again. My stomach felt heavy.
I let out a frustrated breath and shifted.
Reek was up almost instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“My back,” I muttered, already irritated with myself for sounding so pitiful. “And I have to pee. And I’mhot. And I feel huge.”
He was already rubbing his hand up and down my back before I finished. “Come on.”
He got out of bed first, then helped me sit up and stand. He stayed close while I got myself together enough to shuffle to the bathroom.
By the time I came back out, he had already grabbed me water. I took the glass from him and drank half of it standingthere in the dark with one hand on my belly. He watched me the whole time like he was studying what I needed.
Then he sat back against the headboard and held his arm out. “Come here.”
I climbed back into bed slower than I would’ve liked, and he pulled me in until my back was resting against his chest. Then he started to rub my lower back.
I let my head fall against his shoulder and sighed.
“Better?” he asked.
“No,” I whined. “I feel huge.”
He kissed the side of my head. “You’re very pregnant.”
“I just feel so big, Reek. And awkward. And uncomfortable. And everything hurts at night.”
His hand kept working over my back. “I know, baby.”
That “baby” almost took me out.
I closed my eyes and let him rub me. His touch was so gentle that it scared me some. I felt myself falling deeper.
“There’s something I need to ask you.”
“A’ight.”
I stared down at his hand over my stomach. “About Sienna.”
He stilled for half a second, then started rubbing me again.
“I know she betrayed y’all and all of that, but… am I supposed to be scared of you?”
I felt him deeply inhale. “No.”
I turned my head a little.
“I’m not going to lie to you and act like I’m not capable of violence,” he said. “You know what kind of life I live. You know what kind of shit I’ve done. I did what I did to Sienna because of what that situation was and what she put in motion. But you should never be scared of me when it comes to you.” He kept his hand over my belly and his mouth close to my ear. “I know I’ve hurt you with my words before. I know I’ve been mean when Iwas scared. But scared of me putting my hands on you? Or doing something to you? No.Neverthat.”
I believed him. So, I nodded once. “Okay.”
