“It’s impossible to avoid pain and death as a member of the Alliance, but I stopped going out of my way to seek them out. Sometimes, after an especially intense fight, I have to lock myself away for a day or two until I calm down again, but I’ve learned how to channel my instincts into healthier means.
“And sex…” His mouth quirked into a smile as his gaze returned to hers. “Well, until you, it had been almost five hundred years since the last time I had sex.”
Willow’s breath exploded out of her. She almost shoved her jaw back up after it dropped, as it wouldn’t close on its own, but she was so shocked by this revelation that she couldn’t move.
Declan chuckled at her stunned expression.
“You’re kidding,” Willow said.
“No, I’m not. I was really good at keeping it a secret too.”
“Why?”
“Because it was my cross to bear and because I didn’t want to listen to any shit from the others. I was good at keeping it hidden too. I scoped out the babes and talked the talk.”
“You scoped out the babes?”
“No one as much as you,” he told her with a wink.
Willow rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t deny that he amused her.
“But, before you, it had been areallylong time since I was with a woman.”
“That’s the understatement of the century. If it’s any consolation, you weren’t rusty at all.”
He laughed loudly, and when his head tilted to the side, his eyes sparkled in the sun. It was the most carefree she’d ever seen him look, and shelovedseeing him relax a little.
“I planned for my celibacy to last a lot longer until you walked into my life,” he said. “I volunteered to go to Mexico because you tempted me so much that I feared losing control if I stayed around you.”
“You left because of me?”
“They needed me in Mexico, but I was also concerned I would hurt you.”
“You wouldneverhurt me!” She hated his sad smile and the doubt in his eyes when he turned back to the window. “I’m your mate, Declan. You wouldn’t hurt your mate.”
“I didn’t know that at the time.”
“But you do now, and you still think you’ll hurt me.” It wasn’t a question; she could see that in his eyes. “What happened was years ago. You’re not the same man. Plus, if you attack me, I’ll kick your ass.”
He chuckled again. “Do you think you could take me?”
“I already have.”
“That you have.”
Her insides warmed at the sensual tone of his voice and the way his eyes roamed over her. “Did you ever plan to have sex again?” she asked.
“Only if I found my mate.”
There was so much about this man she didn’t know, but with knowing the mistakes of his past, she liked and admired him. He’d nearly turned into a Savage, but he’d regained control and fought that part of himself for years.
He refused to let himself sink into the madness and take the easy way out. Instead, he’d gone without the touch and comfort of another for five hundred years. She couldn’t imagine how lonely that must have been; how disheartening to believe he would never again know the tender, sensual touch of another if he didn’t find his mate. And there was always the possibility he might never find her. She suspected a part of him would always hate himself for what happened that night, but she never would.
“No wonder you were so insatiable this morning,” she said.
“I think that had more to do with you,” he said as his gaze roamed over her body.
“Oh, I have no doubt that a lot of it did,” she replied with a smile.
