"Fear. Obviously. She came back. She got me out. I'm here because of her."
"So why does your subconscious keep showing you a version where she doesn't?"
Logan was quiet. The question settled heavy in his chest. "I don't know."
"I think you do." Dr. Chen's voice was gentle but firm. "I think you're afraid that what happened in Mosul was circumstantial. That she came back because it was the mission. Because she felt obligated. Not because you mattered to her personally."
The words hit harder than they should have. Logan looked away. "Maybe."
"And if that's true, if it was just obligation, then the connection you felt wasn't real. Which means reaching out to her now would be a mistake. Is that what you're afraid of?"
"I don't know. Maybe." Logan forced himself to meet her eyes. "What if I reach out and she doesn't respond? Or worse, what if she does respond and it's just to be polite? What if I built up this whole thing in my head and it meant nothing to her?"
"Those are valid fears. Rejection hurts. Especially when you've allowed yourself to be vulnerable." Dr. Chen set down her notepad. "But let me ask you this. If you don't reach out, if you let the fear stop you, will you regret it?"
Logan thought about that. About spending the next four months wondering. About never knowing if the connection had been real. About living with the what-if for the rest of his life. "Yeah. I'd regret it."
"Then you have your answer."
The session continued for another thirty minutes. They talked about coping strategies for the nightmares. About building healthy sleep patterns. About processing trauma in ways that didn't involve shoving it down and pretending it didn't exist. By the time Logan left, his head hurt and he felt wrung out. But something had shifted. Something had clarified.
He found his team in the common area when he got back to the barracks. Hawk was reading a briefing. Risk was reorganizing his medical kit for the third time that week. Ghost had his tablet out running some kind of analysis. Joker was watching ESPN with the volume too loud.
They all looked up when Logan entered.
"How'd it go?" Hawk asked.
"Fine. Doc says I'm making progress. Both physically and mentally." Logan sat down on the couch. "She also said I need to stop making excuses and deal with my shit."
"Smart woman," Bulldog said from the doorway. He walked in carrying takeout bags. "Got Chinese. Figured you needed real food after PT and therapy."
The team descended on the food. For a few minutes, it was almost normal. Almost like they were back in the team room between deployments, just hanging out. Except Logan was in a cast and on medical leave and his career was on hold until his body decided to cooperate.
"You look like you're thinking too hard," Risk said, dropping into the chair next to him. "What's on your mind?"
"Mara."
"Still?" Joker asked. "Man, you've got it bad."
"Yeah. I do." Logan set down his food. "I need to send her a message. Need to reach out. I've been making excuses for three weeks and I'm done with it."
Ghost looked up from his tablet. "Want me to contact Beth?"
"Yeah. Tell her I need to get a message to Quinn. To Mara." Logan took a breath. "Tell her that Logan Reed doesn't forget promises. That I said I'd find her and I meant it. That Louisiana's a big state but I've got four months to narrow it down. And that I still owe her for coming back when nobody else would."
Ghost typed out the message on his phone. "Sending it now through Beth's secure line. Should reach Quinn within the hour."
Logan felt his heart rate kick up. The message was out there now. No taking it back. No second-guessing. Either Mara would respond or she wouldn't. Either the connection was real or it wasn't. He'd know soon enough.
"What if she doesn't respond?" he asked.
Hawk looked up from his briefing. "Then you know. And you move on. But at least you tried. At least you didn't let fear stop you from finding out."
"And if she does respond?"
"Then you figure out what comes next. One step at a time." Hawk's voice carried the authority of someone who'd led men through impossible situations. "You can't control how she reacts. You can only control what you do. You kept your promise. You reached out. That's all you can do."
The team went back to their food and their activities but Logan couldn't settle. His mind was spinning. The message was out there. Mara would see it. Would know he'd followed through. Would have to decide if she wanted to respond. The ball was in her court now.
