"Or she's sitting in Louisiana wondering if you meant what you said. If you're actually going to find her or if it was just talk." Bulldog pulled into the barracks parking lot. "You told her you'd find her. That you'd buy her that beer. Either you meant it or you didn't. Which is it?"
"I meant it."
"Then stop making excuses and send the damn message."
Logan sat in the truck after Bulldog left, staring at his phone. He had Ghost's number pulled up. Could send a text right now asking him to reach out to Beth. To pass a message through Quinn. Could keep the promise he'd made at that rally point when Mara's hand had been in his and everything had felt possible.
But what if she didn't respond? What if she'd moved on? What if the connection he'd felt had been one-sided? Therejection would hurt worse than anything Nazari's men had done.
He put the phone away and headed inside.
Mandatory therapy was at 1400 hours. Logan had been dreading it all morning. The therapist, a civilian contractor named Dr. Sarah Chen, had the annoying habit of seeing through his deflections and asking questions he didn't want to answer. She was good at her job. Which made her dangerous.
Her office was on the second floor of the mental health building. Comfortable furniture. Neutral colors. The kind of space designed to make you forget you were being evaluated. Logan sat in the chair across from her desk and waited.
"How are you feeling today, Logan?" Dr. Chen asked, settling into her own chair with a notepad.
"Fine."
"On a scale of one to ten, where would you rate your overall mood?"
"Seven." It was closer to five but seven sounded better.
She made a note. "How's your sleep?"
"Getting better." Lie.
"How many hours are you averaging per night?"
"Five or six." Another lie.
Dr. Chen looked at him over her glasses. "Your PT reported that you told her four hours. Which is it?"
Logan's jaw tightened. "Four."
"And the quality of that sleep?"
"Not great."
"Nightmares?"
"Yeah."
"Tell me about them." It wasn't a request.
Logan was quiet for a moment. He didn't want to talk about the dreams. Didn't want to examine them or analyze them or give them more power than they already had. But Dr. Chen justsat there waiting with the infinite patience of someone who'd done this a thousand times.
"I'm back in the cell," Logan said finally. "Tied to the chair. Nazari's there. His men. They're asking questions I won't answer. Hurting me. The usual." He paused. "Except sometimes the dream changes. Sometimes rescue comes. The door opens. And I think I'm saved. But then whoever came for me just turns around and leaves. Like I'm not worth the effort."
"Who comes for you in these dreams?"
Logan didn't want to answer. But lying to Dr. Chen was pointless. She'd see through it immediately. "Mara. The woman who actually pulled me out. In the dreams, she comes through the door and then leaves without me."
"And how does that make you feel?"
"Terrified. Abandoned. Like I'm going to die in that cell and nobody cares." The words came out rougher than he intended.
Dr. Chen made another note. "These dreams where Mara leaves you behind. Do you think they reflect reality or fear?"
