“Are you for real?” he asked. “Tobias fucking Moyer is your boss?”
“Yup, been working there for about a month now.”
“That’s so freaking awesome,” Shawn gushed, lowering his voice as he continued so no one could overhear. “I can’t believe you get to work with him. I mean, Icanbelieve it, because you work so hard so of course you deserve it, but holy shit,Tobias fucking Moyer!”
Chase laughed watching his brother fanboy over Tobias, rattling off his stats and accomplishments.
“I’m so proud of you, Chase. Holy shit, Dad would flip—”
“I thought you didn’t talk to Dad anymore,” Chase asked, cutting off his brother.
Shawn’s face fell. “Of course not, I haven’t talked to him in a long time, like I told you. I was just thinking how he’d flip if he knew.” A chuckle left Shawn with his next words. “Mom would have been so jealous.Sometimes, I think she was a bigger fan than any of us.”
Soft smiles returned to their faces as Chase thought about the good times, before their family blew up.
“True,” Chase snickered. “She was the loudest fan of all.”
“Remember the year we went to one of their practices and Mom smuggled in a frying pan and wooden spoon, banging it like a damn drum and yelling at all the guys on the ice?” Shawn asked, and they broke out in hysterics.
“I’m pretty sure they banned her after that.”
“Yeah, why do you think we never went again?”
As they laughed, Chase thought about how lucky he was to have his mom on his side all those years ago. His dad had disowned him, but his mom rallied behind him and protected him. He wondered what she would think about Tobias as his new boss. She would have shown up at the gym to meet him and embarrass the hell out of Chase.
“So, tell me, what’s it like working for Moyer?” Shawn asked. “He was always so quiet. Is he like that in person?”
Chase smiled as he thought about Tobias. How was he supposed to describe him to his brother?
“He’s a great boss. He’s given me a lot ofresponsibilities and he’s letting me start these kids’ yoga classes.”
“That’s so cool. You were always so great with kids,” Shawn said, and Chase’s cheeks heated. “I heard he’s playing in the alumni game this year. Maybe, um… Maybe you’d wanna go with me? I mean, if he’s not hooking you up with fancy tickets or something, since you work for him.”
Chase’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t even considered it. If I don’t get tickets through him, we could do that. Like old times.”
Shawn sent him a smile loaded with emotion and regret.
“I’d love that,” Shawn said. “So, um, how are things going with you and, um… Are you seeing anyone these days?”
Chase couldn’t help but chuckle at the clumsy way Shawn handled the question.
“Not at the moment, no,” he said, his smile widening. “But I do have my eye on someone. Dunno if it will happen. We don’t have to talk about it if you’re uncomfortable, though. I don’t expect you to be all gung-ho for me about my potential hookups after…”
Shawn winced. “Yeah, I get that. But I’m serious when I say I’m a completely different person now. I’ve learned so much and it doesn’t scare me anymore. You can talk about anything with me and I swear I’m not gonna judge you or tell anyone. I know I fucked upbefore, but I want to do everything I can to make it up to you, so if you want to tell me about…” He paused, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Ya know, I don’t even know how to finish that sentence because I know so little about you now, and I hate that. I love you, and you were always my best friend growing up, and I’m sorry I sided with Dad for so long because I was so fucking ignorant. But I’m not ignorant anymore. Well, okay, I’m sure there are things I still don’t know, but that’s my point. I want to keep learning, keep improving. I want to know you again, Chase.”
Chase’s eyes welled and he didn’t even bother trying to hide it. Shawn reached his hand across the table and settled it on top of Chase’s.
Shawn continued, “I know it’s not gonna happen overnight, but I need you to know I’m not gonna stop trying to be the older brother you always deserved. I’m not going anywhere.”
His brother’s words were doing their best to repair his broken heart. Shawn was right about it not happening overnight. Actions were equally important. He cleared his throat to dislodge the growing lump, and focused on Shawn.
“Tell me some things you’ve learned. Things you’ve done differently,” Chase pleaded.
A grin graced Shawn’s face and he seemed… excited. That boded well, at least.
“I found this preacher online who explained some of the misconceptions about the Bible and all its translations. I did the research and it turns out it actually doesn’t say anything about it in the original translation. Plus, the Ten Commandments, which are like the rules for our religion, don’t say anything about homosexuality. How did I never notice before? That led me down this rabbit hole of documentaries and YouTube videos. I went to Philly’s Pride parade in June with some friends and talked with so many people. I met this one trans woman at an info table who explained gender and sexuality to me in a way I never understood before. I even watched a couple movies and TV shows people recommended, and this one gay romance book I read blew my mind. It all made me realize how brainwashed I was.”
Chase stared at him, flabbergasted. He wasn’t about to forgive everything, but he was impressed with Shawn’s new self-awareness and how much he had done so far.
