“Yeah, God, I’m just exhausted. Growing a human is no joke. Not that I’m complaining,” she quickly corrects. “I mean, I’m grateful?—”
“Claire. It’s okay to hate pregnancy. It doesn’t mean this baby isn’t the most important thing in the world to you.”
“I complained a lot…the first time I was pregnant. Sometimes I think I?—”
“No,” I interrupt, knowing the unnecessary guilt she carries. “I love you, Claire Bear. Let’s not think like that, okay?” I smile despite everything. “How’s she doing in there?”
“Active. Opinionated. Already causing trouble.” Claire’s tone warms with obvious love. “Just like her aunt.”
“I’ll be there for the birth,” I say, suddenly fierce. “I promise. No matter what. The moment you go into labor I will drop what I’m doing?—”
“Charlie, don’t be ridiculous. I know you have bigger fish to fry. The tour, the press. They barely give you time to pee?—”
“Claire. I mean it. In a heartbeat.”
“Your life doesn’t work like that, sweetie. The machine doesn’t stop.”
“Then the machine can wait.” I sit up straighter, disturbing Black Cat’s comfortable position. He shoots me a look of pure feline disgust but doesn’t relocate. “I missed Remy’s first birthday party. I missed your bachelorette party. I missed when Grandpa was in the hospital after his heart attack. I’ve missed birthdays and holidays and random Tuesdays that turned out to matter, and I’m done. I’m done letting this career steal the things that actually count.”
The line goes quiet. When Claire speaks again, her voice is thick with something I can’t quite name.
“Charlie, what’s going on? Is this all about your dad’s letter? Spencer told me what you guys found. Have you reached out to him?”
“No,” I murmur. “It’s not about him.” The truth is it’s just about the life I could’ve had. A life that I think would have been filled with more peace and joy…all the beautiful simple things I can’t seem to make room for in my world.
“Then what’s it about?”
I sigh. “Getting my priorities straight, I guess. So, when I tell you I’ll be there when my niece is born, I mean it. I promise you.”
The silence stretches between us, heavy with eighteen years of complicated history. All the times I wasn’t there. All the waysfame changed the shape of our family. All the distance I couldn’t close no matter how much money or success I accumulated.
“Well.” Claire’s voice comes out rough, like she’s fighting her own tears. “I guess this is a good time to tell you something.”
“Tell me what?”
A pause, weighted with significance. “Justin and I have been talking about it for months. We wanted to name her something meaningful. Something that would keep her connected to you, forever.”
My heart is doing something strange. Fluttering and clenching at the same time, like it can’t decide whether to soar or break.
“We’re naming her Charlotte.” Claire’s voice cracks on the word. “Lotti for short. So there won’t be two Charlies in the family causing confusion.”
I clap my hand over my mouth to catch the sob. I have to hold my breath because if I make even a peep, I’ll unravel.
We breathe together for a moment, two sisters separated by thousands of miles but connected by something deeper than distance or time or the strange circumstances of our lives. I think about my mother—the paper hearts, the lies, the love that was real even when the stories weren’t. I think about what it means to have my niece named after me. A little girl who will grow up knowing she’s wanted, cherished, chosen.
A soft knock at the ajar door shatters the moment.
I jolt upright so fast my head spins. Black Cat’s head swivels toward the sound with predatory interest.
“Hey,” comes Taio’s voice, muffled from behind the wood.
“Come in,” I command and he pushes the door wide, but doesn’t enter my room.
“Is that him?” Claire asks with zero stealth over the speakerphone.
I shush her. “What’s up, Taio?”
“There he is,” Taio says, glancing at the furry heap at the foot of my bed. “I was looking for Black Cat. He escaped during my shower and I couldn’t find him anywhere.”
