I shake my head. “He and I wanted different things.” I wanted to be loved, and he wanted to love someone else. “That’s all. I guess I didn’t expect him to move on so quickly.” Or move on at all. I was the one meant to find my mate and live happily ever after while he grew old and frail and withered into dust all alone.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not. I’m fine. Honestly. It was just a shock. Anyway.” I try to fix my smile, but my lips refuse to cooperate. “I’m notreally feeling up for drinks anymore. Would you mind terribly if I went home?”
“Of course not. Do you want me to come with you?”
Yes, please. Come with me and tell me I’m worth loving. That Nolan just made the biggest mistake of his life. That I’m better off alone than with him.
“Your husband would never forgive me if he had to spend another night without you.”
“He will survive.”
“Kerris? I’m fine.” I pull her in for a tight hug before she catches a glimpse of the cracks in my armor. “I love you. I’ll call by the castle later this week.”
“I love you too.”
At least someone does.
I leave before she has a chance to sic a guard on me. The last thing I need is an audience to watch me fall apart.
The walk back home is fueled by rage and regret. So many years wasted on Nolan bloody Graham.
Applewood is looking better and better.
By the time I reach my parents’ cottage, my tears are under control, and I can inhale without trembling.
Then I see Maddox standing by the gate with a butterfly perched on the tip of his finger, and all the emotions I’ve managed to stuff down spill out with a vengeance.
The butterfly lifts on pale yellow wings, dancing around his head as he turns toward me. He smooths his palms down his trousers, his chest expanding with his inhale. “Nia Quill.”
Warring emotions whirl like a cyclone inside my chest, the chaos widening the cracks in what little control I still have. “I’m not in the mood for whatever this is, Maddox.” Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel like talking, but right now, I’m this close to exploding, and if he doesn’t move the hell out of my way, he’s going to regret it.
His brow furrows, and he has the audacity to ask what is wrong.
The concern in his voice tips me over the edge.
I don’t need him to comfort me. I don’t want anything from him. He’s a liar just like Nolan, and if he’s willing to lie about something so asinine as courting a fake Unseelie, then how could anyone trust him to tell the truth about anything that really matters?
My hands bunch into fists, squeezing tighter.Tighter. “You want to know what’s wrong? Everything, Maddox. Everything is bloody wrong.”
“What can I do?” He holds out his hand like he’s about to reach for me.
Not if I can help it. “You can leave me the hell alone. I’m not yours to worry about.” I’m not anyone’s. I stomp past him, my rage boiling over, scalding everything in its path.
Do I escape into the cottage and disappear?
Of course not.
I’m hurting and I want to take all this hurt and fling it at Nolan and Ivee, but neither are here. Maddox is, though. Maddox is right here, and heaven help me, he’s about to get an earful.
What is wrong?
He’swhat’s wrong. His unnerving smile and his kindness and his butterflies and that damn goat that looks at him as if it worships the ground he walks on.
I whirl back toward the Unseelie and spit every bit of venom I have in his direction. I’m a match, and he’s my tinder, my anger like a forest fire consuming everything in its wake.
“I know she isn’t real.”
