I knew all these things, and yet I allowed myself to believe the lie. To pretend that I could keep her for myself.
Come with me.
For the briefest moment, I allowed myself to consider her earnest offer.
It is not as if I would be losing anything. I no longer have any friends, and all my belongings would fit inside my mother’s trunk.
But then reality hit me like a kick in the teeth.
What happiness could I possibly offer Kerris in Rosehill? I highly doubt anyone would be in search of a hunter. Even if I brought my barrel-top with me, I own no land to leave it on.
My Seelie deserves the sun, moon, and stars, but I am as penniless as the trees in these woods.
So here I stand, alone once again, staring at a wolf as lifeless as I feel.
I want to burn the beast. Actually, no. I want to revive it and kill it all over again. To bathe in its blood and let the crimson flood wash away my rage.
But there is no sense wasting meat when I barely have enough to feed myself for the week.
When I finish gutting the wolf, I tie a rope around its neck and use my pulley to hang it from one of the trees so I can skin it. The pelt would fetch a good price up north, but it would take me three days to get there and three days back—and that is if the rain stays away. The roads are treacherous enough on dry days; in mud, they are downright deadly.
Distant leaves stir, crunching on the barren ground.
I smell my former friend before I see him.
Maddox is only stealthy when he wants to be, and apparently today is not one of those days. He comes to a stop at the edge of the forest and turns his back on me.
His shunning hurts more than it should. I chose this fate for myself, after all.
Maddox and Gryffin still have their lives ahead of them and they would be fools to side with me after what I have done.
“I took her across the bridge, but there were guards,” Maddox murmurs to the high branches, his voice no more than a whisper.
At least Kerris made it safely across the bridge. “Thank you.”
His head falls and he turns ever so slightly, casting a wary side-eye my way. “You love her.”
“I do.”
“And she loves you?”
All I can do is nod. She loved me last night, but I cannot be sure if our newfound affection is strong enough to withstand my sending her away. My heart might be hers until eternity, but she is like my friends. She has a future ahead of her. Any male would be lucky to be chosen by her.
The thought of someone else holding her, someone else loving her blurs my vision and ignites a fire in my blood. What can I do but stand here and burn?
Maddox kicks a clump of dirt with the toe of his boot. I wait for him to say something else, but all he does is sigh and leave me to turn to ash.
* * *
All that remains of the wolf is bone and sinew. Instead of leaving the thing hanging and attracting scavengers, I drag the carcass to the middle of the forest and leave it there. In a few months, I will return to add the bare bones to the perimeter of my camp. If I dry the meat, it should last me a week or two if I ration it. Considering I do not feel like eating anything, that should not be a problem.
Back at camp, I build a fire and cook the meat, so it does not go off. A squeak chirps from the path toward the village, too high-pitched to be an animal.
I catch a glimpse of a carriage moving through the trees. Maddox sits atop his steed, navigating his home through the broken logs and boulders. Behind him, Gryffin leads his unicorn and cart as well.
They come to a halt next to my carriage.
Maddox dismounts, giving the animal’s thick neck a pat.
