* * *
Nia leaves me to finish drying, returning with a soft white linen shirt to wear as a sort of jacket over my dress. She scoops up all the soiled garments along with my abandoned towel and drops them into the wash basket.
By the time we return to the sitting room, Trevor is pacing from the sofa to the front door and back again. When he sees us, his brow crushes with concern.
Nia squeezes my fingers with a quiet, “I’ll wait for you outside.”
It feels like another lifetime when I imagined myself living in this quaint cottage. A lifetime that feels so far out of reach. “Thank you for your kindness, Trevor.”
“Consider it an apology. I haven’t done right by you, Kerris. For that, I am dreadfully sorry. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I would love nothing more than to prove myself to you.”
Your life would be so much easier if you did.
One yes is all it would take to make all of this go away.
One yes that will never fall from my lips.
How can I possibly even consider moving on with the taste of Ever’s skin still living on my tongue? With the vows we exchanged in the darkness still ringing in my ears?
“I’m sorry, Trevor. But I do not love you.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. Love takes time to cultivate.”
Some love can take time, like Aunt Cordelia and Uncle Arlo’s. But the love I’ve found is made of fire, all-consuming and devastating, leaving scars on my body and my heart. Scars that will never heal. There is no going back for me. “What I mean to say is that I am in love with someone else.”
Trevor blows out a resigned breath. “Pity. I thought you and I could make an excellent match. But if your heart lies elsewhere, then there is no hope for us.”
Truer words have never been spoken, and yet I feel my heart break a little more anyway. For the simple life I’ve thrown away in favor of a beautiful disaster. Of a love and life that can never be. “Thank you for being such a good friend. I hope you can find someone to be happy with someday.”
When he smiles, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
When I smile, neither does mine.
46
Everett
“Mingled souls breed mangled hearts.
Sometimes it’s best to remain apart.”
An Unseelie Fable, Author Unknown
Kerris is gone.
No matter how many times I tell myself those three words, they refuse to sink in. I do not walk back to my barrel-top, I drift. People in the camp stop and stare, but I cannot even lift my head to meet their curious gazes. For the briefest moment, I had everything.
And now everything is gone.
Maybe I acted too rashly. Maybe I should race across the canyon and beg her to come back. Tell her I did not mean what I said. That I would protect her with my own life until my dying day.
But seeing the wolf’s carcass still lying where I felled the beast, its teeth bared in a silent snarl, destroys any thought of reconciliation.
I almost lost the most precious gift I have ever been given. I cannot bear the thought of Kerris leaving me of her own accord.
Of watching her grow to despise and resent me.
This is the way it must be. She lasted two fucking days before her life was in danger. If it had not been a wolf, it could have been a panther or a basilisk. Hell, even Leah is a threat to her safety.
