I force an offhand shrug. “This whole situation has gotten out of hand.”
Understanding crosses Eddie’s face, and he closes the distance between us. “Stop,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t push me away because of the bullshit that’s happening.”
I damn near fold right there. Nearly tell him everything—Mr. Howard, Deirdre, the judges, the custody fight, all of it.
But I force myself to keep going, which is a new kind of torture. “Honestly, it isn’t that deep, Eddie. We were having fun, that’s all. It’s not like we were going to get married, have a couple of kids, and ride off into the sunset.”
I couldn’t have hurt him more if I’d aimed for his heart and pulled the trigger.
“Fun?” He repeats the word, grimacing as if it tastes rotten. “Jesus Christ, Kiki. Fun?”
I set the bag of his things beside the food he brought, hoping to end this discussion before I break apart, but Eddie isn’t ready to give up the ghost that easily. He paces a few steps across the porch, trying to make sense of my words before stopping right in front of me.
“This doesn’t make sense. This doesn’t sound like you.” Hisgaze locks on mine. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I mean nothing to you.”
My heart lurches so hard it feels like a physical blow, because the truth is he means everything. Safety, laughter, warmth, a future I was stupid enough to believe in. A man who thinks I’m worth loving. But the truth will ruin him and Theo, and I can’t allow that.
When I know a lie is going to protect the man I love, I have the best poker face in the world. Either I make Eddie hate me now, or he stays with me and hates me later, after Deirdre drags him through court and Theo gets stuck in the middle. At least this way he keeps his son, the custody issue is put to bed, and Deirdre calls off her dogs.
A raw primitive grief sears through me, but I play through the pain. My facade is unfeeling. Unbreakable.
“I told you already. I had a good time with you. Eddie, we were never supposed to happen. Hell, I texted you on my birthday because I figured maybe you’d hit it off with my cousin. I never thought?—”
“Never thought what?” he cuts in. “That you’d wind up with me instead? Was that the plan? Take me on a test drive before you pawned me off on your family members?”
I shake my head. “No. I just… didn’t mean for it to get this far. I never meant to hurt you.”
He smacks the porch railing hard enough to make me jump. “Well, you did. Because I believed I meant something to you. Joke’s on me, I guess.”
Trust me, Eddie. Nobody’s laughing.
With a deep breath, I deliver the death knell.
I pick at a splintered edge of the doorframe. “What happened with Deirdre made me realize how messy this situation is, and I don’t need more mess in my life. I was lonely, Eddie. I needed someone to fill thevoid.”
He goes utterly still, his body vibrating with barely contained fury. “Fill the void.”
I nod, unable to speak.
When his eyes come back to mine, there’s nothing but hurt, disbelief, and the raw edge of anger in their depths. “You are one hell of a saleswoman, Kiki. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.” His mouth twists. “Hell, I fell foryou.”
And because I know I have to make him hate me enough to walk away, I force a laugh that sounds caustic even to my own ears. “Come on. You don’t think I actually believed you when you told me you loved me? That’s just something men say.”
Eddie’s expression flattens in a way that is far scarier than his anger. Meanwhile, I’m shattering into a million pieces inside, and the mask I’m wearing won’t hold much longer.
With a grunt, he grabs the bags and digs his keys from his pocket. When his gaze meets mine, it’s darkened. Hard. “Maybe that’s what some men say, but not me. I meant every word.”
He descends the steps, then stops long enough to throw one final knife over his shoulder. “The worst part? You involved Theo in this fucking game of yours. He believed you were real too.”
For a few horrible seconds, neither of us moves, the tension crackling between us. Then he stalks to his truck, tosses everything inside, and gets behind the wheel.
He doesn’t make a scene. He just backs down the driveway and out of my life.
I barely make it inside the cabin before I crumple. I slide down the door in a sobbing heap, one hand pressed over my mouth like I can hold the agony in.
There was never going to be a good way out of this. No version where I get to keep him. No version where this doesn’tcost me everything. But God, I didn’t think it would hurt like this.
Because I love him. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.
