This will hurt Eddie. I know that. But he’s young, popular, and beloved in this area in a way I never will be again. His friends will drag him out for beers, make him laugh, and remind him there are other women in the world. Within a few weeks, he’ll meet some gorgeous girl closer to his age—someone without all my complications, without a monster for an ex-husband, without a town full of enemies just itching to flip the switch on my electric chair.
Then there’s Theo. He’s still so young. I have memories from his age, but they’re few and far between, a scattered handful at best. In a few years, I’ll be nothing more than a blur at the edges of his childhood. A woman who came and then went. A blip for them both.
The thought guts me, but it’s not nearly as bad as the alternative.
So I do the only thing left to do. The only option I have to keep the man I love safe.
I pull up Mr. Howard’s number and press the call button.
I don’t care that it’s late. I don’t care if I wake him up. Mr. Howard came to my cabin and detonated what little peace I have in my life. If he loses a little sleep tonight, I don’t have the wherewithal to feel guilty.
He sounds half asleep when he answers. “Hello?”
“This is Kiki Wilder.” I tighten my grip on the phone, needing to say my piece before I lose my nerve. “I’ll handle it. I’ll stay away from Eddie and Theo.”
There’s another pause, longer this time, pregnant with power.
“Thank you for understanding,” Mr. Howard says.
A short laugh flies past my lips, but it’s bitter and broken. “What choice do I have? But I need clarification on a couple of issues. Eddie and I have worked together before, and even though I can’t imagine he’d want anything to do with me after this, I need to ask. Outside of that, it’s a small town, and our paths are bound to cross now and then. What exactly are you asking me to do? Run in the opposite direction? Pretend I don’t see him?”
Mr. Howard sighs into the phone. He knows there’s no version of this that doesn’t hurt. “I understand the two of you have worked together before. That’s not the issue. It’s the relationship, the dating, Theo getting attached, and the appearance of you becoming a permanent part of Eddie’s life. That’s what Deirdre’s reacting to, and that’s the ground she plans to make her stand on.”
I scrunch my eyes closed, hoping to God this is a nightmare I’ll wake up from. But when I open them, everything’s the same.
There’s no end in sight.
“So if I run into them somewhere?—”
“That’s life,” he replies. “And if something professional arises, that’s different. Deirdre won’t have a case there. But socially? Personally? Privately?” He pauses. “That’s where the problem lies.”
Of course it is, because, God forbid, I’m allowed anything good in my life.
“I understand.” That’s a lie. I don’t, not really, not in any way that feels fair or sane or survivable.
“You’re doing the right thing. Trust me, you’ll be glad you made this decision, even if it’s hard to comprehend now.”
I hang up and let the phone fall onto the couch beside me. “Oh, I understand perfectly. I’m not wanted or welcome anywhere.”
So much for happy endings, at least where I’m concerned. By the time Eddie’s truck pulls into my driveway, I’ve already packed every trace of him from my cabin into a reusable grocery bag.
I open the door before he can knock. He’s carrying takeout in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, looking tired but altogether unfairly handsome.
A smile breaks across his mouth. “Hey, beautiful. I brought dinner, and before you say no, I also brought?—”
I rest my hand against his chest before he can step inside, and his smile falters. With my other hand, I hold out the bag.
His eyes drop to it, curious. “What’s this?”
“Your things.”
It takes forever for his gaze to reach my face, confusionetched across his features as if the words don’t make sense. “Mythings?”
The porch creaks under my feet as I step outside and pull the door closed behind me, shivering against the bite of the late-day air. “Yeah. Your things.”
He sets the food and wine down on the top step and folds his arms across his chest. Every movement is slow and purposeful, but I see the tension rising in his shoulders. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”
Game face, Kiki. Time to do what you promised.
