“It’s not worth it? What about your stress and heartache?”
She got up and crossed her arms in frustration. “God damn it, Nairie. You know what I would give to feel that way about someone?”
I looked at her, surprised. Elspeth had always been boy crazy and independent, never letting anybody tie her down.
“I thought you liked being single?”
Elspeth snorted. “Yeah, it’s fun, but it gets old. The truth is I don’t want to end up like my mom.”
“What do you mean? She was happy . . .”
Elspeth shook her head. “She was lonely. She was happy she had me, but after my dad left, she never got over it. She closed herself off to anyone and just focusedon raising me. I didn’t tell you this, but the day she died, she told me she wanted me to find somebody to love. That was her biggest regret. And remember what she told you?”
I looked down. “She said to stop being so afraid of everything. To live a little.”
We both started crying, and Elspeth hugged me tight. I had been so busy taking care of Elle and the funeral and my parents that we never got to share this, and once it started, it couldn’t be stopped. It felt like we were kids again, clinging to each other like two lost and scared little girls.
After a while, Elspeth pulled away with snot and tears streaming down both our faces. “We should have done that a long time ago.”
I sniffled. “I know. I think we were holding it off for as long as possible. Elle, I don’t know what I’d do if my parents died. I don’t know how you’re doing it.”
“Every day it gets a little better, but you’re always going to feel a little bit empty sometimes, and that’s okay. It’s okay because that’s a sign there was something good there to begin with, and I know she’s with me. I feel her around all the time.”
“I just want Baba to be okay.”
Elspeth wiped her sleeve against my tear-strewn cheek. “He didn’t die. He’s going to be okay. But he needs to seriously change his diet and maybe take a vacation once in a while.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, right.”
“But that’s his life to live, Nairie. You give everything you have to everyone else. And you found someone willing to give as much back to you. I know you love William and he loves you.”
I started crying again. “Everything feels empty without him. I don’t know how to go back to the way things were.”
My mom cleared her throat and we both turned around. How much she must have heard, I didn’t know, but I refused to be ashamed.
“Your father wants to speak with you,” she said contemplatively.
Elspeth got up and hugged me tightly, whispering, “It’s not too late. I know you’ll do the right thing.”
Mom looked at me with an expression I’d never seen before. A mixture of pity, caution, and defiance. We weren’t a share-and-cry kind of family, and Mom didn’t say anything as I walked into my parents’ bedroom. Aunt Lilit was sitting by Baba’s bedside, and it looked like they had just finished discussing something.
Lilit gave Baba one last knowing look and nodded toward me. “Hey, kiddo. I’m going to be leaving soon, but let’s get dinner tonight.”
“Okay.”
We hugged, and I went to sit beside Baba. His speech had been slowly improving these past few weeks, but he still took longer than usual to get words out. I held his weathered hand in mine. His olive complexion had time-worn spots and a few scars from various run-ins with car engines and faulty toasters. He was always tinkering with something, and I loved that I could see the story in his hands. They were my favorite things to draw of his.
I looked at his big brown eyes and smiled. “How are you feeling?”
He nodded and blew out a breath. “Okay, my dove.”
My childhood pet name made my insides warm,and I squeezed his hand.
His voice was soft and measured. “I wanted to talk to you about something we should have told you a long time ago.”
I froze and looked at him in confusion.
“Have you ever wondered where you got your talent from?” he said.
