William shifted the wood in the fire. “Yeah, there was a lot of adrenaline when I would go on missions. You get addicted to it. Being active and doing new things usually does the trick.”
He played with my hands in his. “Do you feel better conquering your fear?”
“I don’t think I’ve conquered it quite yet, but yeah, it felt really good going out there. Thank you for taking me.”
William kissed my cheek, and we ate in comfortable silence, looking out onto the dark, shimmering water.
He discarded our trash in a bag we would take back to the car.
We snuggled closer, listening to the crackle of the wood and crash from the waves.
“Tell me about working with your parents,” he said.
I shrugged and traced his hand in mine. “It’s as good as it can be.”
William waited patiently.
“Fine. Is my mom a micromanaging dictator? Sure. Is Baba a hoarder, so all I do is organize paperwork that manages to double in size every time I turn my back? Yes. Is every day a nightmare that doesn’t end? Not to mention, I do every single thing they ask outside of work. I mean, not once have I said no to anything. I go to all the banquets, family functions, and blind dates.”
Realizing I had gotten a little carried away, I looked at him and laughed. His lips curved into a smile, highlighting his strong jaw in the amber light.
“It’s a work in progress. Maybe I’ll become a successful artist one day.” I sighed.
“There’s no doubt in my mind you will be, love.”
My insides turned to goo, and we continued to gaze at the water for another long moment.
“Can you tell me what’s going on between you and Angus?”
William’s body tensed. “It’s complicated.”
“I get it. He always seemed like a dick when we were kids.”
William chuckled. “Yeah, he wasn’t great.”
I snuggled closer to him on the blanket and leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezing his hand in reassurance.
It was a few minutes before he spoke again. “Angus was always reckless. A lot of the time, I felt like the older brother because I’d remember to go to the grocery storewhen Mum was too busy working, or I’d make sure to get him to come home from the pub when he was out too late. He also didn’t mind taking his frustration out on me if one of his horses lost at the races.”
My heart broke. “I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“I didn’t want you to know. Visiting you guys was a break from it all. Lindsey was actually the one who paid for our plane tickets because we couldn’t afford it. ”
Thinking of the art set he bought me when we were young took on a whole new meaning now, knowing how long he must have saved to buy it. I held back tears and waited for him to continue.
“Needless to say, he got into some bad shit by the time I was a teenager.”
“Like what?”
“He was involved with a drug ring. I knew a lot of what he was doing was wrong, but for the first time in a long time, we didn’t have to worry about Mum working three jobs at a time just to put dinner on the table. So I helped him with small things at first, like delivering messages or packages. Then I started roughing people up for him.”
My stomach plummeted. “How old were you when it started?”
“Fifteen.”
My heart shattered. I remembered that year. William was particularly surly and difficult around Elspeth and me, but I’d assumed it was teenage angst.
“I’m so sorry, William.”
