He shrugged. “I was always good at fighting. Once they knew that, they wanted me to officially join. Become their designated hit man of sorts.”
“Did you go through with it?”
William sighed heavily. “I was going to. I was on my way there when something stopped me. In the beginning, one of the leaders of the gang paired me off with his daughter. He saw the potential in me. At the time, I enjoyed her attention, but I was young and dumb. The same night I was going to get initiated, I found Angus and her in bed together.”
My jaw dropped.
“It was my breaking point. I wanted to get the hell out of there, and the only way out was joining the army. I haven’t spoken to either of them since.”
I sat there speechless for a while and looked down at our joined hands.
When I looked back up, William was staring at me softly. “Did you love her?”
William hesitated for a minute. “I thought I did for a long time. I thought that’s why I was so upset, but we were terrible together. She loved that lifestyle, and I hated myself every day I was in it. But seeing Angus go to those lengths to betray me was what did me in. I still don’t understand why he couldn’t be a good brother. Why he couldn’t protect me for once.”
I slid my hand across his cheek and held it there until he took my palm and kissed the inside of my wrist.
“Last I heard, he’s risen pretty high in the ranks. I want nothing to do with it.”
“What does your mom think about all this?”
“She stopped talking to him too. She tried convincing him for years to get out, but once you’re in, there’s no going back.”
I couldn’t believe everything I’d just heard, but it didn’t change the way I felt about William. He was still the boy I fell in love with, except now I understood him asa man.
He turned me to face him more directly. “The rivalry with my brother is still very much a problem, Nairie. I don’t want you anywhere near that. If he finds out you and I are together, he’ll use you against me. When I got back home from the service, I briefly dated a woman for a while. Nothing serious, but once Angus heard, he’d leave dead animals on her doorstep and have guys follow her home from work. I ended things, and I haven’t really dated since. This is why I wanted to avoid getting together. My life is a mess, and being with me is dangerous.”
I could see the pain in his eyes. He was giving me an out. But at that moment, I didn’t know if I could love him more.
I climbed onto his lap and hooked my hands behind his neck to make sure we stayed face-to-face. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re always telling me to take more risks. Well, you’re worth the risk to me.”
William tried to look away, but I gripped him tighter. “I’m not afraid of Angus, and you can’t let him get in the way of your happiness. If whatever’s happening between us is what you really want, I’m in. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. You’re selfless and good. And you’ve always made me feel brave, especially when nobody else thought I was.”
I placed my hand over his heart, and he covered it with his own. With his other hand on my neck, he pulled me in closer and kissed me so softly and sweetly. It almost felt like it should have been our first kiss.
“You are brave, love.”
I smiled sheepishly. “Not really.”
William trailed kisses along my cheeks, chin, andneck. “You started taking those art classes on your own.”
“True.”
“And you have that sexy tattoo.” He skated his hands along my lower back.
“Yes.”
“And you moved out of your parents’ house to help Elspeth. Even if it’s only part-time.”
“Actually, I fully moved out today.”
William paused and looked up at me. “You did?”
“Yes.”
William tossed me on my back and pinned me to the blanket. “So I get to enjoy you twenty-four seven?”
I held back a giggle. “It seems so.”
