“Time. Time to fix what I can. But I need to do it alone.”
“How do you expect me to sit back when I know you might be in danger?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“Because I’m asking you to. No one else gets hurt because of me. I promise, if I think I’m in over my head at any time, you’ll be my first call. No more lies. But for now, I need you to trust me.”
“Lennon.”
“You can’t call me that. It’s not safe,” I tell him.
He shoves his hands furiously through his salt-and-pepper hair. “You can’t tie my hands like this.”
“I’m a grown woman, Dad. I can do anything I want or need to do. Maybe if I hadn’t tried to hide Dash from you, none of this would’ve happened. I’m not a little girl anymore,” I say firmly with my chin held high even though my heart is slamming in my chest. I didn’t bring him here to disrespect or challenge him, but I’m toeing the line. Lincoln Tyler isn’t used to taking orders from anyone; he gives them.
“Lennon Shay Tyler. You may be in your thirties, but I’m still your father. And your boss. Be very careful what you say,” he says.
“You can’t fix this for me. You can’t protect me from this.”
“You’re damn right I can’t if you keep me in the dark,” he booms loudly.
“I’ll run if I have to, Dad. Don’t force me to. I love you and I know you think you know best. But you need to trust me to live my own life. You can’t control something you love, or you’ll lose it,” I say firmly even though my throat burns with unshed tears. “Drive fast, heart steady, live free,” I say as I swallow down the lump in my throat.
He takes my face in his hands and studies me silently.
“You can’t expect me to live any other way than how you taught me,” I say.
He kisses my forehead and pulls me into the protective circle of his embrace.
21
Dad dropped me off atmyhouse instead of London’s apartment. He wasn’t happy, but he’s finally listening to me.
After making sure I locked every door and window, I examine everything about my house with a fresh pair of eyes. This space has been violated. With some of my memories back, I’m no closer to figuring out who was stalking me. It’s both creepy and scary. I’m in danger. I can feel it as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out.
Jackson: I trust you made it home in one piece since my car did.
Me: Yes. Thanks again. I owe you.
Jackson: That you do, princess. Don’t worry, I’ll collect. ;)
Me: I’m sure you will.
I have to be careful not to let anyone else know I’m Lennon. Conversations need to be kept short and to the point, so I lock my phone and head upstairs.
I get ready for bed even though I’m not sure if I can sleep. I’m still puzzled by how I ended up wearing the shirt London was last seen wearing, but I can’t try to think anymore tonight. I’m exhausted. Once I’m settled, the silent tears burn a trail to my pillow.
Dash and I have been sneaking around my dad’s back for almost a year, but I just recently tried to bring our relationship out in the open in hopes my family would accept us. That’s when Dad shut it down. Dash is the competition, and he thinks he’s dangerous for me because of that race a long time ago. Maybe he was right. Look at us now.
I turn on my side and my empty hand clings to the pillow my sister would be lying on in a moment like this. She’d be right beside me, holding my hand. We did everything together. Anything I felt, she felt it with me and vice versa. But she was always the safe one. Her life was settled and stable. I was always the wild card. Unpredictable. Always spinning my wheels both figuratively and literally.
How am I supposed to do any of this without her? It was supposed to be me and her until the end. Now I’m alone living with the guilt of her death. Half of my heart died with her; we always felt like we shared one. One heartbeat shared by two different souls.
My chest physically hurts under the weight of this immeasurable grief. It’s like expecting my tears to fill an ocean. There will never be enough to fill the enormous size of this gaping hole.
Sometime in the early morning hours, I finally drift off with the faint smell of strawberries teasing my senses. And just for a moment, I allow myself to take comfort in breathing in my sister’s scent, whether it was my imagination or her soul somehow reaching across time and space to try and tell me she’s still with me.
My eyes fly openwhen something shifts in the air. I strain to hear any sound that doesn’t belong, but everything is silent.
