He nods in reluctant understanding. “I wish you’d listen to what your heart remembers. Love without trust won’t survive, Valkyrie.”
“I know.” My chin wobbles. “But how can I ignore what my mind is saying. Maybe my heart remembers something I desperately wanted to be true but never was.”
I get back in the car and drive away leaving him standing alone on the side of the road illuminated by the very headlights which may have ruined everything.
After I parkJackson’s Camaro at Tyler Motorsports, I stand outside the building which has always held my future…my career and my dreams. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and hover over the officer’s name in my phone book. But I hesitate as my heart tries to overpower my mind.
Dash is right. Just because it looked like his car that night doesn’t mean it was. But just because I’m in love with him doesn’t mean he didn’t do it either. I squeeze my eyes shut. What am I doing? I don’t have anything more to give the cops now than I did before. I didn’t see anyone’s face or hear anyone’s voice but my own and London’s.
“Hold my hand.”I know now it was me pleading with her to be okay and take my hand like when we were kids. We were always better and stronger together. I was desperately hoping I could pour my fading strength into her that night; hoping I could save her one last time. But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t.
How can I live with knowing she died because of me? How will my parents ever look at me again? I don’t deserve to be anything remotely close to happy. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. Even if Dash had nothing to do with any of this, how could I ever allow myself to love someone so much again?
Hendrix.Hendrix will hate me. He’ll never forgive me, and I can’t blame him. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. Themost important person in the world to me is no longer in it because of the choices I made that night.
I decide to call my dad. If I’m going to confide in anyone, it should be him. He’s the only one besides Dash and Hendrix who knew there was a possibility I was alive instead of London.
I bring his number up in my phone, mentally cursing the late hour.
His raspy voice laced with sleep sounds in my ear almost immediately. “London? What’s wrong?”
My throat burns and I swallow hard before speaking. “Dad, I need you, but please don’t wake Mom. I’m at Tyler Motorsports. Can you come get me?”
“I’ll be right there.” He hangs up without another word.
What should be a twenty-minute drive from their house, he makes in ten. His truck slides to a stop and he’s out standing in front of me without saying a word. My dad. The one man I knew would never let me down. The one I thought could never be broken. The man I’ve always looked up to and adored. My hero. We were so close. And in the weeks since this nightmare began, he’s aged. Will he turn me away when he finds out the truth of what I’ve done?
“Dad…” I whisper as my chin trembles as I stare at him like it might be the last time.
“Are you hurt? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asks as his concerned gaze checks me over.
I can hardly make myself say the words, so instead, I tell him the phrase he always said to me before every race. “Drive fast, heart steady, and live free.”
“Lennon,” he rushes out as his eyes fill with unshed tears.
He crashes into me and holds me tight against him as his frame shakes with sobs. I’ve never seen my dad cry.
“Oh, my baby girl. I can’t believe it’s true,” he says as he sways us back and forth in the same comforting dance he used on us when we were kids.
I pull back. “I’m so sorry. London shouldn’t have died, Dad. It should’ve been me. She’s dead because of me. I never should’ve asked her to help me see Dash that night.”
“What?” he asks.
I’m trying to be careful with what I say. I’m not sure how much my dad should know about my stalker just yet. I may need to keep it to myself in order to protect everyone else and take him down.
“She helped cover for me. We always covered for one another. I never stopped seeing him even when you condemned us being together. I was lying to you. And now, because of all my lies, my sister is gone.”
“Lennon…” he starts, but drops it. I’m sure he doesn’t know what to say. A person can feel more than one emotion in any given moment. I’d say he’s feeling relief knowing one daughter he thought he buried is alive, but he’s also having to accept one is still gone. It’s just not the one he thought he lost.
And knowing it all resulted from him being lied to…it’s both a cutting betrayal and a heavy burden.
“Don’t tell Mom. Not yet. This isn’t over,” I admit.
His head snaps in my direction. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t remember everything, but the person who caused this is still walking free. It wasn’t an accident. They may try to finish what they started. I don’t need anyone knowing what I remember. If it got out…”
His brows furrow in concern. “What do you need from me?”
