I walk away before he can say whatever it is he was going to say, because no matter what he says, I know that if he has the chance to go back to the NHL, he’s going to jump at it. And I’ll be left alone.
“From the top of the dance!” I call, and everyone takes their places, including Jamie. The music echoes through the open space as the guysbegin to dance. Jamie does his best, not putting too much pressure on his leg, but doing more than he could do a few weeks ago. I really am happy for him. I’m so glad he’s on the mend. However, I’m not dumb. I know that if he goes back, he’s not going to want me there to distract him.
After the dance, my students take the ice, the tech crew shuffling in all of the props and sets. They deliver their lines perfectly, April and Leo stealing the show with their beautiful performance. It’s short and sweet, and I think it will make people want to know what happens next.
The doors at the top of the bleachers creak open and when I look up, I spot Dean Ashby stepping inside, hands clasped behind his back as he watches quietly from the aisle. Why is he here?
I clap at the end of the performance, congratulating my actors and tech crew for an outstanding rehearsal.
“Alright, great rehearsal everyone. Two more before the big night. Get some rest tonight, and good luck to the hockey team on their game tomorrow,” I say before dismissing everyone. Jamie makes his way over, stopping beside me. We both peer up to see Dean Ashby walking down toward the boards, smiling wider than I’ve ever seen.
“This,” he says warmly, voice carrying across the rink, “looks phenomenal. You two did a fantastic job at putting this together in such a short time.”
Relief crashes through me.
“I cannot wait to see the full thing on fundraiser night.”
Emotion tightens my throat, and I look to Jamie, seeing that he’s smiling too. Except, he’s not looking at Ashby, he’s looking down at me. I quickly look away, clearing my throat.
“Thank you, Dean Ashby. It really was a team effort,” I say.
Once he leaves, Jamie and I collect our things in an awkward silence. Just as I’m about to head out, Jamie calls me.
“Ellie, please talk to me,” he begs. I turn back to look at him. He looks desperate, like he needs me to tell him what I’m thinking. I don’t want to, though. I don’t want him to know that I’ve gone and fallen for him after I’ve told him so many times that I wouldn’t. That I couldn’t. I don’t want to admit that thinking of him getting better and leaving to go back to the Storm might actually break me to pieces.
“About what Jamie? I’m proud of you. Really, I am so happy that you’re healing and that you’ll be back on the ice soon. You deserve it.”
“I’m not going anywhere yet. I’m not one hundred percent, and I have to finish out the semester,” he explains. Oh, so those are the only reasons he wants to stay. Nothing to do with me or our, whatever this is. Relationship, situationship, whatever you want to call it.
“Right, well best of luck at your game tomorrow.”
With that, I walk out of the rink, leaving Jamie behind, where I should have left him in the first place.
Chapter 34
Ellie
M
y room is silent. The only sound I hear is the beat of my heart and my breathing. I’m allowing myself one night of self-pity before I go back to being a boss ass bitch and throw all my focus into the end of the semester and the play.
I know nothing’s official yet, and Jamie isn’t fully ready to get back to playing professionally, but it’s better to rip off the Band-Aid now than wait until he inevitably makes the decision to leave.
He looked so conflicted, like he didn’t want to tell me, but he was excited to tell someone.
Of course he was, this is huge for him. He deserves to feel excited and relieved that he’s healing from his injury. He thought his careerwas over and he’s just learned that it might not be. I would never take that away from him, and I’d never make him choose between his career and me.
Picking my phone up, I press Lainey’s name. It rings a few times before she picks up, her smiling face filling my screen.
“Oh my god, hi bitch! I see you in three days!” she squeals.
Chuckling, I say, “Hi to you too.”
“Holland has decided to come too,” she tells me, and I roll my eyes.
“You mean, you’re forcing him to come against his will,” I say. Lainey shrugs.
“Tomato, tomahto. He misses you.”
