I roll my eyes. “And what exactly wouldn’t you do?” I tease.
“Oh, whatever. Bye, bitch,” she says before hanging up and leaving me to think about the mental battle currently playing out in my head.
Damnit, Ellie. What did you getyourself into?
Chapter 17
Ellie
The next morning, I’m sitting at my desk attempting to focus on my rehearsal schedule for the day. There’s still so much to do and we’re running low on time. This show needs to be ready by the end of the semester, and we’re already seven weeks in. We have about six weeks left to nail this thing so we can move into dress rehearsals. To say I’m stressed is an understatement.
Add in the Jamie factor, and I’m screwed. I do not have the head space to deal with both things at once.
To top it all off, I have a meeting with Dean Ashby this afternoon after rehearsal. Something about needing to discuss the ‘next steps’ for the arts department. Whatever that means.
Finally peaking up from the pile of papers scattered across my desk, I watch the two students on stage finish up their scene.
“From the top!” I call out, my voice echoing through the empty rows of seats. “And please, for the love of God, try to look like you’re actually in love, not like you’re waiting for a dental appointment.”
April and a junior named Leo, reset their positions. They’re talented, but I’m almost positive Leo is gay and it’s making it hard for them to have a connection. Of course, one could argue that a professional wouldn’t let their real-life preferences bleed into their work. But these aren’t professionals, they’re college students.
They lack the raw intensity their characters require. I know first-hand what that intensity feels like.I felt it in the locker room while staring into the eyes of a man who ruined me.
I haven’t seen Jamie since he almost kissed me.Since I almost let him.I’ve spent the last twelve hours convincing myself it was just the lighting; the close proximity orthe fact that he looked sobroken,and I’ve always been a sucker for a project.
My constant need to fix things has always been a problem. Seeing Jamie so destroyed has only made me want to try to fix him. But he’s not a puzzle that needs to be put together.
He’s not a torn piece of paper I need to tape together. He’s not mine, and I’m not in charge of fixing him. That’s something only he can do.
“Stop,” I call over April and Leo as I approach the stage. They break away from each other like one of them was on fire.
“This isn’t working,” I gesture between them. They look to each other, confused. “You’re supposed to be in love with each other. Where is the passion? The emotion? The tension? I’m getting nothing.”
“Well, Professor Monroe, I do prefer sausage,” Leo winks and chuckles. April gives him a disgusted look, and I roll my eyes.
“Then act like April has a penis. I don’t care. Just give me something. And April, this is the love of your life. He’s pushing you away because he doesn’t see how anyone could possibly love him. You need to show him he’s worth loving. Understood?” I ask, directing my question to both of them. They nod, and I begin to walk away.
“We’ll pick this up tomorrow. We have six weeks to get this right. I want you two rehearsing together as much as you can, even outside regular rehearsals. That’s your homework, okay?”
“Yes, professor,” they answer in unison before exiting the stage.
I know how badly April wants this. How badly she wants to prove herself. I can see she’s working hard, but Leo isn’t giving her anything to work with. He’s not taking it as seriously as she is.
I don’t think this class was something he truly wanted to do, more of a filler class than anything. Which sucks for April, because she’s really giving it her all. Especially in scenes where she’s solo.
Unfortunately, this is a love story, and it’s going to need both of them to work at it for it to be believable.
I don’t want to push them too hard, because I want to it to be enjoyable for them, but I have a lot riding on this play. Like April, I’m also trying to prove myself, and I need them to cooperate to do that.
My chest tightens just thinking about it. Everything’s in someone else’s hands, and I can feel my control slipping through my fingers. I’m not used to this, not being the one controlling the outcome, and it’s giving me anxiety. I’m not usually an anxious person, but I need this to be perfect.
Hours later, I’m sitting in Dean Ashby’s office, my leg bouncing with anticipation as I wait for him to enter the room. When the door opens, I expect Ashby to walk through, but to my surprise, Jamie walks in and takes the seat beside me. What the hell is he doing here? Ashby didn’t tell me Jamie would be joining us.
Jamie gives me a cocky smile, and the shift from seeing him falling apart in front of me to the confident man sitting next to me is giving me whiplash.
“Why are you here?” I ask, my tone a little rougher than I intended.
“Ashby told me to be,” he shrugs, the smile never leaving his lips. The lips I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since yesterday. God, Ellie. Focus.
