Me:Yes…
Main Bitch:What thehell?
Me:I know.
Students begin to filter back into the auditorium, and I quickly tuck my phone away before I can spiral and stand, rolling my shoulders. Work first. Always.
Auditions finish just before dusk. I thank the last student and close the door, the sudden silence ringing in my ears. My body feels heavy, but it’s the good kind of tired, the kind where you feel like you’ve worked the hardest you possibly could.
My walk home is quiet. The light breeze is cold and unforgiving, but the fresh air feels nice on my skin. When I arrive back at the house, I pause before unlocking the door. What if he’s right there? What will I say to him? Do I want to see him?
Slowly, I unlock the door and push it open. Light from the foyer envelops me as I step inside the warm home. I set my bag down on the floor before removing my coat and shoes. As I make my way into the kitchen to begin dinner, I hear laughter. Jamie’s laughter.
I pause.
It’s different from how I remember it. Deeper, more masculine. It catches me off guard.
Jamie’s sprawled on the couch, his bad leg stretched out carefully, watching something on TV. He looks so relaxed. My chest warms. He’s looked like he’s had this huge weight on his shoulders since he got here. This is the first time I’ve seen him not so stressed. I can understand why he’d feel so burdened. Being stripped of the thing you love can do that to a person.
He looks up suddenly, obviously hearing me walk into the room. Sitting up slowly, a toothy smileappears on his face. I recognize that smile, and my heart skips.
“There she is,” he says, a teasing lilt to his voice. “You survived?”
“I did,” I reply, releasing a long sigh.
“That bad, huh?”
“That good,” I correct. “Which is somehow worse.”
I head into the kitchen, instinct pulling me there. He follows, hovering in the doorway like he’s not sure he’s invited. He wasn’t, but for some reason, I don’t tell him not to.
I pull out a water from the fridge, popping the cap off and taking a small sip. Jamie leans against the counter, watching me carefully as if any move he makes could spook me and I’ll run. To be fair, I don’t know if he’d be wrong in thinking that.
“I’m sure you did great,” Jamie says simply, as if it’s not possible that I could fail at anything. My cheeks heat and I just know they’re red which makes me blush more with embarrassment.
“Thanks…” I tell him, looking down at the counter. I fidget with a crumb as we stand there in an awkward silence.
“Ellie,” he begins, slowly taking a step toward me. I back away, a little too quickly, and begin pulling ingredients from the fridge.
“How was practice?” I ask, trying to change the path of conversation. I could tell whatever he was about to say would have brought my mood down, and I do not want to feel sad right now. I had a good day, and I will not let him ruin it. He stops in his tracks.
“Great,” he shrugs. “They’reterrible.”
I snort. “Promising start.”
“I told them if they keep skating like that, I’m switching them to ballet.”
I pause mid-reach. “You did not.”
“I totally did.”
We both chuckle before our eyes meet and my heart stops. The way he looks at me is so intense. I hate it. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Like I’m willing to forgive him and let him ravage me. I think he can tell that my resolve is wavering because he looks like he wants to do exactly that.
He stands straight and grabs his jacket off the back of one of the chairs at the island. “I’m heading out. Team thing.”
It’s so sudden, I don’t know how to react. It’s like he feels like he has to remove himself from this situation before he does something he’ll regret. Something we might both regret.
“Okay…” I say timidly.
