I can literally feel the nerves radiating off of my students. Auditioning is kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff with your eyes closed and waiting to either fall to your death or fly.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but where better to be overly dramatic than the theatre? Speaking of dramatics, I stupidly left out a plate of pasta for Jamie last night.
Why the hell did I do that? I don’t care if he eats or not. But something in me was telling me that he’d probably be hungry after the long bus ride home. Curse me being an empath.
What I wasn’t expecting was the note he left me.
‘Thanks. J.’
I mean, what is that? He didn’t need to say anything. He could have just eaten the freaking food and left it alone. But he left a note. I don’t know why that feels so… significant, but it does. It feels like an olive branch. A creaky, old, chipped, weak branch, but a branch, nonetheless. Lainey is going to lose it when I tell her what I did. One thing about my best friend is she’s unforgiving. She holds grudges, for a long time.
Once when we were kids, she’d let me borrow her scooter. Well, I was riding said scooter and hit a rock. I’d fallen off, but not before bringing that damn scooter with me. It got all scuffed up, and she was pissed. She didn’t talk to me for three whole weeks. She still brings it up to this day.
Okay, I really need to focus today. No more thoughts about Jamie and his stupid note. This is my first real task as a director, and I do not want to fuck it up.
The stage is a blank canvas. No sets or costumes, just a plain old stage with long red curtains and a lot of potential. The sounds of students practicing lines, pacing the room, and doing vocal warmups fills the large space.
What people don’t realize is how gruelling the audition process can be. When you buy tickets to a show, you don’t think of how the actors got their parts or the work that needed to be put into it.
You see this perfectly polished, rehearsed show in front of you, and you have no idea the hard work, blood, sweat and tears that were put into getting it that way. That’s the point. That would take your audience right out of that fantasy world that you’re trying to portray.
Once I’m all set up and ready go, I begin to call students up one at a time. The first audition is rough. The second is worse. The third surprises me in a good way. I jot notes quickly, my mind already reshuffling possibilities. It’s exhilarating and exhausting all at once, watching these students bare themselves for three minutes at a time. For a fleeting moment, I wish I were them. Auditioning for a new show and feeling the hope and drive they’re feeling right now. Although, I’m kind of enjoying being on this side of things.
The morning flies by in a blur of monologues and half-sung songs, and only a few mental breakdowns. I would say this went really well for my first time holding auditions. These kids really have the heart for this, and I absolutely love that. I offered notes, encouragement, and smiles when I could tell someone was nervous.
By noon, my coffee is cold and my voice is hoarse. During my lunch break, I sit alone on the edge of the stage, flipping through my notebook. Names circle my brain, refusing to stay neatly assigned.
Casting is like a puzzle. One wrong piece and the whole picture feels off.
My phone buzzes on the stage next to me.
Main Bitch
Main Bitch:How’s auditions?
Me:I’m still alive. Barely. Send more caffeine...
Main Bitch:I’m sending my good vibes. Haven’t gotten an update on he who shall not be named. You haven’t fallen back into his lap, have you?
That makes my smile falter, because the truth is that I don’t hate him as fiercely today.
Me:I left him a plate of food last night.
Main Bitch:You did what now?
Me:He had an away game. He got home late, so I just left him some left over pasta. I was gonna throw it out anyway…
Main Bitch:Oh, Jesus El. You don’t need to feed him!
Me:He left a note…
Three little dots appear as Lainey types back her reply. I knew she’d freak about the food. It’s like me saying ‘hey, I forgive you. You can fuck me now.’
Main Bitch:A note?! What the hell did it say?
Me:“Thanks. J.”
Main Bitch:That’s it?
