That’s the moment when I feel him.
Like a magnet, my gaze is drawn to the edge of the woods where Riley stands, jaw rigid and eyes set intently on his brother … with his son.
Guilt floods my system once more, and I stand, murmuring to my friends that I’ll be back in a bit. He shifts his attention to me as I approach, understanding—and hurt—washing over his face. I’m not avoiding bringing him around my friends; I’m not embarrassed to have him here with me. This is about the boys.Still. About Matt.
“Look—” I start as I draw near, but he shakes his head, eyes trained on something over my shoulder.
“Walk with me,” he says through gritted teeth, and I follow his gaze to find many of our friends and family watching us, faces alight with curiosity. I nod, following him quietly up the path. He stops at the fork that leads either to Henry’s place or back up to the road where we’ve parked, then turns and faces me, arms crossed. I drag my eyes slowly up his tense body, reluctant to meet his gaze. His unique eyes are a particularly stormy grey on this otherwise perfect July afternoon. I watch them flare as he fully takes me in, realizing for the first time I’m in nothing but my bathing suit.
“I’m sorry—” I start, but he cuts me off, pulling me to him in a swift move and crushing his lips to mine. I’m frozen for a moment in surprise before I allow myself to melt into him—into the kiss. Shivers course through my body as he takes my mouth with fervor, tongue delving deep. It’s passionate.Angry.
And over before I know it.
Riley’s frustration is a palpable thing as he breaks the kiss with a deep grunt, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“I’m sorry,” I start again, touching a hand to my still tingling lips, but he shakes his head.
“No,” he says on a sigh, holding me away from his body. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“But—”
“About the text,” he continues. “I—I shouldn’t have—” he pauses, making an aggrieved sound in his throat before releasing me to drag a hand through his already mussed hair, indicating this isn’t the first time he’s done that today.
“I lost my cool when I found out you were all here without me,” he continues, and my heart squeezes in pain at his words. “My mom mentioned it, thinking I was invited because you were going, and, well …” he trails off, swallowing thickly. “I was hurt and upset. It’s still no excuse for speaking to you like that. It was passive-aggressive of me—or just plain aggressive—and it’s not cool.”
I bite my swollen lip, and his gaze zeroes in on it. For a moment, I think he’s going to lean in again, but he squeezes his eyes shut and pushes on, knowing this conversation needs to happen. “After everything … I want us to be better than this. I don’t want avoidance, or— or omittance, Steph. We need to communicate even if it sucks.”
“I know,” I agree in a whisper, feeling appropriately chastened. “You’re right.” I hate that I hurt him, that we keep doing this dance.
“I don’t want resentments and misunderstandings,” he pushes.
“I get it, Riley.”
“Do you?” He pins me with a look, his eyes swimming with emotion. “Because it’s always two steps forward and one step back with you.”
I drop my gaze to stare at the ground. I know he’s right. It’s so unfair what I keep doing to him.
“Things have been so great between us for months now, but still you hesitate. I don’t know how else to prove to you that I’m here to stay, that I’minthis. You’re still having doubts, and I—”
“Not about us,” I stop him, stepping into his space and pressing a hand to his chest. I bite my lip and hold his gaze so he knows I mean it. “I don’t have doubts about us.”
“It’s about Matt,” he murmurs.
I nod.
“It’s always about Matt.”
I drop my hand from his chest and step back, letting out a sad sigh.
“I’m trying to be patient here, baby. You said you’d think about it. I’mnotpushing you to tell him. I get you’re not ready for that, but what did you think would happen if I came today? There’s a crowd of people out there, for God’s sake!” He points in the direction of the beach. “It would have been the perfect opportunity to ease the boys into it.Us.I wouldn’t even have had to interact with MattorAlex one-on-one. I mean, Jesus, Steph, he knows about us. The whole town does by now, so why are you still treating me like a dirty secret?”
“You’renot.”
He lets out a harsh, disbelieving laugh. “I’m just not invited around your friends or family.”
My shoulders slump, my eyes stinging with tears, because I don’t know what to say. Because he’sright. He’s so right, and I really fucked this up.
“It’s not like the boys haven’t both met me before,” he continues. “What’s the harm in getting them used to me being around? It can only help us later when youareready to talk to Matt.”
