He’s quiet for a long moment, staring down at the sand. I hold my breath, waiting until, eventually, he nods.
“Piper’s been on my case about you for months.”
I can’t help but grin, despite the tension in the air. “I knew I liked her.”
He drags his gaze up to glare at me, but it fades at my next words.
“I was in prison.”
I watch his eyes flare in understanding as my truth bomb detonates.
“Tell me,” he says quietly.
So I do. I tell him the whole story. About my failure with basketball and school. How I fell down the slippery slope of drug abuse, and how it snowballed into dealing. I hold nothing back, sharing every sad and shameful detail about how far I fell.
And how far I ran afterwards.
My brother says little as I unload my dark tale, but he listens. And, despite everything, I sense very little judgment coming from him, which is surprising, but also … not. I know he’s faced his share of difficulties in my absence, and when I finally run out of words, he tells me about them. How he met Piper. What happened to her on this beach, and afterwards. I knew the basics from my mother, but Aidan tells me everything. How he pulled a gun on her when they first met, how he couldn’t stop himself from offering to play bodyguard, moving in the very same day with a perfect stranger … and why he felt so compelled to do so.
He tells me about what happened to his former partner and childhood best friend, Ava, how he’d pulled away from everyone in his grief over her death, and how he’s been working through his guilt at having caused it for years now.
We take turns spilling our secrets and pouring our hearts out.
It was a long time coming, and it’s cathartic for both of us.
“It’s just occurred to me,” he says slowly, “that she must’ve known about you.”
I tilt my head, looking at him questioningly.
“Ava. She used to say things that in hindsight …” he trails off, and I watch his eyes dart around, unseeing, as he remembers the past.
“Jack knew,” I offer. “Maybe he said something, or …”
He nods repeatedly, still lost in thought. “She could easily have looked you up in the system. We have access to so many searchdatabases at the precinct. In fact, I’m sure she did as soon as she was able to.” He shakes his head. “I never could bring myself to do it, too righteous in my indignation to look for you, but she was protective of me. Saw what it did to me when you didn’t come back. It doesn’t surprise me that she would have wanted to keep tabs on you.”
“It seems my secret wasn’t as secret as I initially thought,” I say, rubbing at the scruff on my chin. “Jack, Ava, Mom … If I had known Mom knew the whole time …” I sigh, shaking my head. “Things might have all been different. There was so much shame, Aidan. For having let you all down. If not for my pride, I might have found a way to come back sooner.”
“What’s done is done,” my brother murmurs, and not for the first time, I catch him eyeing my tattoos where they’re visible on my neck.
“They represent all the places I’ve called home,” I explain, pulling up a sleeve and pointing to the spot above my inner elbow where my inmate ID number is marked, “starting with the penitentiary.” He nods, squinting in the dark as his eyes trace down my arm, taking in the many different icons and figures intertwined there.
“Do you have one for Llyn Lakes?”
“Not yet.”
“Because it’s not home?” he asks, voice taking on a wary tone. I know he’s been concerned I won’t stick around.
“Because this is my last stop, and I want to make sure it’s right when I do it,” I answer, which seems to mollify him.
“How will you know when it’s right?”
“When I get my family back.”
“Well, you have Mom. And you won Piper over easily enough,” he rolls his eyes. “I’m still really fuckin pissed at you, but I understand more now. I’m sorry I wasn’t willing to hear you out sooner. It doesn’t necessarily make things better, but …” he pauses to roll his shoulders, letting out a long breath as he does. “We’ll get there.”
I clear my throat and meet his eyes; mine are brimming with tears. “That means a lot to me, little brother,” I say.
He studies my face for a long moment. “But that’s not the only family you mean, is it?” he reads from my expression.
