She adjusts her position, eyes darting briefly to mine, before turning back to him with a smile, clearly pleased.
“Please stay with the group while I’m gone,” he continues. “Okay?”
She murmurs something I can’t hear, and then he’s leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to the tip of her nose before facing me once more. As we move away from the group, Aidan makes a point of catching Luke’s eye, tipping his head in the direction of the table, and I watch as Luke follows his gaze to where Piper and Tessa are now leaning into each other and giggling. His face softens, and a smile tips his lips as he watches the two women. He turns back to Aidan with a firm nod, as if to say, ‘yes, I’ll keep an eye on her,’ and I suspect he’ll be keeping a close watch on both women.
We make our way up the beach in silence for a while. Aidan seems intent on putting serious distance between ourselves and the bonfire before speaking, and I decide to follow his lead, grateful to be alone with my brother. When it becomes clear he has no intention of starting this conversation, however, I’m forced to break the silence.
“Are you just trying to get me away from the crowd so you can deck me one?” I ask lightly, though it’s a valid question. If he wants to get in a few shots, I’ll let him.
He snorts, but keeps his eyes trained on the sand. “You’d deserve it.”
I swallow. “I know.”
He stops abruptly, turning to me, and despite the failing light, I can see his face has clouded over. I stop a few feet away and square my shoulders, thinking he’s really going to let me have it. I’m used to his frowns, his glares, but this … seems different somehow. He squeezes his eyes shut, sucking in a sharp breath as if to steady himself, and I brace for the onslaught. So it comes as a complete surprise when he says, “I still have a hard time coming here … to this beach …”
And that’s when it clicks. My stomach drops. I’d thought his behavior back at the bonfire seemed overly protective—controlling even—but now I see it for what it was: a post-traumatic reaction.
And who could blame him?
“Is this where …?”
He nods, staring out over the dark water. The haunting call of a loon echoes from somewhere out in the bay, sending a shiver down my spine. “That’s basically what they did to her,” he continues. “Waited until she was away from the crowd and then …” his voice cracks, and he trails off, swallowing thickly. This conversation has taken a turn I hadn’t expected, and I feel poorly equipped to deal with it. Even in the dark, my brother’s pain bleeds through on his face and in his voice.
“Jesus,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. We don’t need to do this here. Or—uh—at—at all …” I stutter out.
He shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. I’ve been in therapy for a while now. Piper has, too, and we were encouraged to come today. I wanted to skip the festival altogether. We did last year.” His mouth lifts in a soft smile, pride evident when he says, “But Piper’s much stronger than I am. She insisted we can’t keep running from it.”
I nod, having caught glimpses of that resilience in my sister-in-law during the time we’ve spent getting to know each other at the library.
“As someone who’s spent more than a decade and a half running, I agree with her.”
“Anyway,” Aidan continues, meeting my eyes with a wry look. “I figure if I’m going to be facing some of my demons here tonight, why not make it all of them?”
“So I’m one of those demons, then.” It’s not a question, but he answers me anyway.
“For a long time you have been, yes.”
“And do you talk about me in therapy?”
A curt nod.
I blow out a long breath. “That’s fair.”
He eyes me for a long moment, then turns suddenly and resumes walking. I have to jog a few steps to catch up, and he surprises me once more by switching tacks when he says, “Heard you’ve been seeing Steph again.”
Word had gotten around quickly following our kiss outside the Bean and subsequent hand-holding throughout town, though Piper has likely been keeping Aidan apprised of my frequent visits to the library as well.
“Mm-hmm,” I confirm. “For a while now.”
He shakes his head. “Why the fuck she would ever give you the time of day again is beyond me. After the way you ditched her …” hetrails off, shaking his head once more. She’s not the only one I ditched, and I know that comment isn’t just about Steph.
“We’ve had a lot to work through, and still are, but there’s more to our story than you realize.”
He snorts derisively. “Whatever.”
I reach out a hand, gripping his shoulder to stop his forward momentum, and once more, he stops and turns to me on this deserted stretch of beach.
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Aidan. I didn’t just fuck off for no reason. I never wanted to abandon you. Will you finally let me explain?”
