“Latest ‘sexcapade,’” Steph supplies, using the term I’ve jokingly coined in the past, but it hits a little too close to home at the moment and her smile drops when she takes in my face. She exchanges a look with Piper, who clears her throat, but before she can say anything I just … blurt it out.
“I slept with Noah.”
“Wha …” Piper gasps, while Steph simultaneously yells, “No!”
“Yep,” I nod. “At your wedding,” I gesture at Piper.
She expels a shocked breath. “I knew it. Iknewit! Aidan and I both noticed how friendly you two were that night.Andhow drunk,” she adds.
Steph clears her throat. “Forgive me for asking, but … why is this the first we’re hearing of this? I mean, no offense or anything, but like Piper pointed out earlier, you’re usually the first to volunteer this type of information.” She takes a beat. “Whether we want to hear it or not,” she adds with a suggestive smirk.
“Seriously,” Piper agrees. “I’ve been home for almost two weeks now–what gives?”
Aaaand… I don’t actually know the answer to that question. I only just found out I was pregnant yesterday, so what other reason would I have had to keep my night with Noah to myself all this time? My mind flashes back once again to the image of him passed out, magnificently naked, on the sand, and I feel an echo of that ache in my chest again just like I had when I’d scurried away from him up the beach. I guess I just–I just wanted to keep this one to myself for once.
Keephimto myself.
For some reason.
Probably for the same reason I’ve kept replaying that night over and over in my head while I’ve lain in bed tossing and turning for most of the last month.
“I don’t know,” is all I can say.
“Well … don’t keep us waiting,” Piper encourages, “how was it?”
I sigh. “It was amazing.”
“Then why do you sound so sad about it?” Steph asks.
“Why wouldn’t I? Because–because it’sNoah! It’s going to be awkward. Itisawkward now.”
Kind of.
Not.
In truth, it’s almost worse than the awkwardness I’d originally feared, because I’ve seen Noah four times since then and it’s actually not been awkward at all. Not on his part anyway. It’s … nothing. He acts as thoughnothinghappened. And it bothers me more than I’d like to admit. I don’t understand it! How could he? How could he pretend it didn’t even happen? Sure, I’ve been ghosted before–and I’ve done my fair share of the ghosting too–but to pretend like it wasn’t ever anything at all?
It …hurts. I guess.
Asshole.
And now I’m pissed because I hate that he ever even made me feel anything at all, let alone hurt feelings, however minor.
This is why I don’t get involved. This is why I’m destined to remain the town slut, becausefeelings. If it’s not laughter and fun–pleasure–I’m not about it. I don’t do drama and I don’t do attachments. How Noah managed to elicit anything like that from me after just one drunken hook-up confounds me, and I don’t like it.
So … maybe he has the right idea, after all, I realize. Maybe pretending it never happenedisbetter than having an uncomfortable discussion about it knowing we’ll be thrown together again and again by our friends. It’s probably the smart thing to do to preserve the friendship. Just pretend it never happened. But …
But.
It’s not so simple anymore, is it?
Fingers snap right in my face, and I jerk back, locking eyes with Piper.
“You’re really starting to worry me now, Luce,” she says, frowning. “Tell us what’s going on. It can’t just be awkwardness with Noah. He’s a good guy, he–”
And once again it explodes out of me, cutting her off.
“I’m pregnant!”
