This is it.We’re about to meet our baby.
The anesthesiologist leans over my head and speaks to Noah in low tones advising him to get his camera ready.
Noah briefly drops my hand to rummage in the pocket of his scrubs for his phone. Despite his nervous fumbling I’m impressed that he had the presence of mind to even put it in there. I’m so tired yet also so wound up, that I feel somewhat removed from reality. I know I’ll be thankful to have a photo of this moment to look back on, though.
I watch as he holds up the phone in triumph. Noah’s brows are furrowed and he’s staring intensely at the screen between us and the doctor, just waiting.
Waiting …
Silence falls.
Suddenly, I feel a dull kind of pulling sensation, as though someone has reached into my belly and stirred my insides. I suck in a breath as I realize that’s likely exactly what’s happening. The feeling is slightly unpleasant, though mild compared to the contractions. Still, I let out a little whimper which causes Noah to turn to me sharply. He grips my hand again, squeezing tightly, the phone still held aloft in his other hand.
And finally,finally, the sweetest wail breaks the quiet.
At 5:55 p.m. the divider drops and the doctor holds up our screaming little girl. Her face is scrunched up and she looks furious to have been disturbed. My eyes burn once again with tears–this time of joy–as I take in my daughter.
My daughter!
She’s slimy, and wrinkly, and utterly perfect.
“You have a healthy baby girl,” Doctor Lee announces, and the breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding whooshes out of me. Noah in turn lets out a relieved laugh and Angela chimes in with, “Ten fingers and ten toes.”
Grey bun whisks the tiny wriggling figure away momentarily to wipe her down and give a quick once-over.
“Six pounds, four ounces,” she says as she returns, pulling my hospital gown down and placing the baby on my chest.
Noah begins sobbing and we grin at each other between our tears.
“You did so good, kitten,” he breathes and reaches out a shaking hand to cup the back of his daughter’s head, love, awe, and pride shining in his watery eyes.
“Hi baby girl,” I whisper, and she tilts her head at the sound of my voice, peering up at me through curious brown eyes. Noah’s eyes.
“She’s certainly got a lot of hair,” Doctor Lee comments. She does. It’s dark and curly like mine.
There’s more pressure and pulling as Doctor Lee begins to stitch me back up.
“Just like her mamma,” Noah replies softly.He leans in and kisses me reverently, but we break the kiss quickly, both unwilling to take our eyes off our little girl for too long.
???
In the recovery room, Noah is given a chance for skin-to-skin contact, and I lie quietly on the bed beside them, just marveling at the sight. He leans back in the chair, every dip and groove of his perfect chest on full display beneath the harsh fluorescent lighting. His eyes are closed and I know he’s just soaking in the moment, the feel of her. Our daughter is curled into his neck, one tiny hand extended and gripping tightly to a lock of hair behind his ear. Noah cradles her back, tracing circles on her skin with his thumb, his large hand spanning almost the entire length and width of her. I can’t get over how tenderly he’s holding her, or how small she is, pressed up against the large form of her strapping father. My emotions are still all over the place and I struggle to hold back a sob, failing miserably. Noah’s eyes shoot open at the sound, searching for mine in the too-bright room.
“You doing okay over there, baby?”
I just nod, unable to speak.
He gives me a soft smile then returns his attention to our little girl, placing a sweet kiss against the crown of her head and pausing to inhale her scent.
“I love you, Noah,” I whisper, unable to contain what I’m feeling in this moment but equally certain that the words aren’t enough. Not nearly enough to express how thankful I am for him and all that he’s given me.
“Love you too, Luce. We have things to talk about, I know, but for now, I just want to say thank you,” he says quietly, mirroring my own thoughts. “I never–” he cuts off, choking on emotion. “I never imagined I could be so happy, so …thank you.”
I give a little sniffle and nod once more. We do have things to talk about, but I’ve already forgiven him for all of it. So I settle back against my pillow again and continue watching the two loves of my life get acquainted.
And at this very moment, I know Piper was right.
This is my happily ever after.
