“That’s not selfish, Cam,” she said gently. “That’s brave. And honestly? About damn time.”
I gave her a faint smile, heart thudding in a rhythm I was still getting used to. One that beat a little faster around them.
“You’re still young,” Tucker added with a smirk. “Don’t actlike thirty-four is ancient. There’s still so much time to figure things out and to experiment.” He added with a wink.
“I feel ancient some days.” I laughed.
“That’s honestly not a bad thing! I prefer old men,” Harper gushed, earning scoffs from both Tuck and me.
Then she tilted her head up at me, looking more serious. “Do you want kids? You’ve given a lot to your kid sister. Do you think you could give a bit more to a kid of your own?” The way she went from joking to serious gave me whiplash.
I stopped dead in my tracks, causing them to stop too.
Tuck looked over, concern lacing his bright green eyes. “Cam?”
The question hit harder than I expected. Not because I hadn’t thought about it, but because I had never had someone in my life that I’d truly considered having a family with. I dated a few women throughout my adult life, but it was never anything serious.
Looking at her, I tried to find the answer in the truth that lived behind my ribs. I let go of her hand and turned toward the lake, trying to gather my thoughts. I am not sure why I felt so overwhelmed.
Questions raced through my head one after another. Was there still time to have a baby? Would I be a good dad? If something happened to my child’s mother, would I end up a mean old drunk like my dad? Do I want to be a father? What if something happened to my partner during childbirth?
The waves lapped the shore in their steady rhythm; the sky streaked with soft gold and rose. My chest felt tight. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. The worst part? I had no idea why I was reacting like this.
“Cam,” Harper said gently, her hand brushing my arm, immediately grounding me.
I turned back to her, and the words came easier than I thought they would when my gaze met hers.
“Yeah,” I said, voice low and rough, a smile on my face. I cleared my throat, willing myself to calm the fuck down. “Yeah, I want a kid or even kids.” I looked between her and Tucker, a small smirk on his face.
Her face stayed soft, unreadable.
“I want to be someone’s safe place. I want to give a child what I didn’t always have. A home that doesn’t feel temporary. Love that doesn’t come with conditions. Stability.” I swallowed hard, heart pounding. “And if I ever got to do that with someone like you…” I trailed off, breath catching. “That would be everything.”
I didn’t expect her to say anything back. But when I looked up, her eyes were glassy, as if she were holding back tears. It damn near broke me.
“Harper,” I murmured, stepping forward.
Before she could say anything, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in. Her cheek pressed to my chest, and her hands curled into my jacket. She needed me just as much as I needed her in that moment.
I rested my chin on top of her head and just held her. Words weren’t needed. I just wanted to be present with her and whatever she was feeling.
“That’s the best answer ever,” she whispered against my shirt.
I closed my eyes, breathing her in. She still smelled of strawberries, vanilla, and something else I couldn’t quite name. It was a scent so specific that it was justher.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t running out of time. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
The moonlight was casting long shadows across the beach as we turned to walk back toward the car. I kept her hand in mine, thumb brushing over her knuckles every so often, just to remind myself this was real.
“Good thing we are heading back,” Tuck said, glancing at the sky.
Harper smiled but didn’t say anything, just kept walking beside me, her pigtails dancing in the breeze again.
“What do you guys want to do for dinner?” I asked.
She let out a breathy laugh. “I can grab something when we get back, don’t worry about it.”
As if I would have let that happen. Both Tucker and I spoke in unison.
