31
CAM
“Can we at least start heading back to the car? It’s getting too cold to stay out here.” Yeah, I definitely regretted not layering up.
“Of course,” Tucker responded, helping both Harper and me up.
As we walked, Harper in the middle with me closer to the shore, I couldn’t help noticing how small she looked between us. I was a foot taller than her, standing at six feet three, and Tuck was a few inches taller than me. It would be so easy for either one of us to hold her up and for us to both just bury ourselves inside of her. She’s back to one of our fronts and–shit, I need to stop.
I adjusted myself in my pants, hoping they wouldn’t notice, and quickly got my thoughts in order.
She’d just told us how hard her childhood was. My girl never got to be a kid, which kind of makes sense as to why she’s always so silly now. And don’t get me wrong, I love that about her, but it clears things up for me. Harper telling me she’s had a crush on me since she was nineteen, almost ten years, blew up my whole world. And now the ball was in my court.
I looked down at our hands, her fingers warm in mine, and felt that old nervous itch start to creep up my spine. But I didn’t want to hide anything from her. I’m sure she knew a lot about my past, too, because after all, her best friend is my little sister.
“My favorite color’s green,” I said. “Like the deep kind, almost forest.”
“Aw, is it because my eyes are green?” Tucker said, batting his lashes at me.
Harper looked up at him, smiling. “Hush. Plus, yours are not that dark.”
He rolled his eyes and motioned me to continue. God, talking to both of them was so easy. His personality fit hers perfectly. It made me wonder where I fit in, but when I glanced down at Harper holding my hand, it eased the nerves that had been creeping up. Whatever I had to do to keep this, I would.
She looked up at me and smiled, soft and knowing, like she was tucking that piece of me away for safekeeping.
“My birthday’s January third, but I’m sure you both can imagine how that goes. Everyone’s too partied out by then, so we’ve always just celebrated it on New Year’s Eve.”
“Well, that won’t do this time around. How old will you be?” Tuck asked, meeting my gaze.
I blew out a breath; fuck, I was getting old. “Thirty-four.”
He laughed, “Fuck, man. I really am getting old. I’ll be thirty-eight on the twentieth.”
Harper’s neck turned so quickly I thought her head would roll off her shoulders. “OF OCTOBER?” The pitch was one that only dogs could hear.
“Yeah, Sugar, the twentieth of October.”
“And you’re just now telling us?” She huffed and mumbled something under her breath, turning her attention back to me.
“Wren told me once that you hated birthday cake, too.”
I huffed a laugh. “It’s dry half the time.”
She bumped her shoulder into mine gently, “Well, you haven’t had mine yet.”
I smiled down at her, shaking my head. I swear, she already had me wrapped around her finger. She could serve me a plate of rocks, and I would eat them and say, “Thank you”.
“I’m nervous about being thirty-four,” I admitted. “I know I’ve accomplished stuff, and I’m proud of what I’ve built, but… I still feel like I’m running out of time.”
Harper slowed a little, causing us to slow down as well. I think she was buying more time since the parking lot was coming into view. Truthfully? I’m glad she did.
“I spent so much of my teenage years and twenties focused on Wren. Making sure she had what she needed, trying to be the one who never fell apart. Not spending money unless absolutely necessary, just in case she needed something. I didn’t even realize how much time… how much of my life was passing by until recently.”
I rubbed a hand down my face, feeling the wind pick up again. The sun was now set, and the full moon lit up the sky, reflecting against the water. It shimmered, and the waves rolled in. It was beautiful. I loved this time of year because it got dark earlier. Could be eight at night or midnight, who knows.
“I hate to admit it, but I’m glad she has Reed. Not because I want to be replaced, but because it means I can finally…” I trailed off, then found Harper’s eyes again. “Be a little selfish. Live for me. Figure out what I want, instead of always worrying about if she’ll be okay.”
Harper’s gaze was soft. She looked so proud. It melted my heart.
