“You got the job, huh?” I say, opening my arms to her. She practically leaps into them and squeezes me tight.
“Yep! The call just came through, and I had to answer. You are looking at the new Wellness and Movement Instructor at Destination Cruiselines. How freaking cool is that? Yoga on the high seas! Can you even imagine?”
Viv’s enthusiasm is contagious because I am imagining her teaching a class on the starboard deck or whatever, and it looks fun as hell.
“Have you hugged Bridgette and Dutton yet?” Viv asks.
“Nope,” I answer. “I will, but?—.”
“Then come on, what are you waiting for?” she asks, practically dragging me across the room. We don’t get very far, because there’s till a fucking line, and also because my Aunt Darla, my mom’s oldest sister, stops us.
She hugs us both, pinches my cheek, and threatens to show Viv my baby pictures. It’s not actually a threat, though. I was an adorable baby. We tried to politely say our goodbyes and move on, but Aunt Darla is having none of it.
“You know what this means,” she says in a sing-song voice. “I have a feeling I know who’s gonna be walking down the aislenext,” she says, giving me an exaggerated wink. “Oh you two are just as cute as can be. If you don’t put a ring on her finger soon, Brannon, I’ll know you take after your take after your father. Bunch of morons on that side of the family tree.” Aunt Darla cackles at her own joke and I do the same, because when a crazy last laughs, you join in.
But Viv’s not laughing. She’s standing completely still, like she’s frozen to the floor. “We’re not together,” she says, correcting my aunt. “We never have been. We’re just friends. So there will be no wedding band on this finger, I promise,” she says.
Now it’s Aunt Darla’s turn to stay quiet. And I don’t think that’s ever happened in my whole life. “Well,” she says, finally breaking the awkward silence. “I’ll go congratulate the happy couple.”
As soon as my aunt is out of earshot, I turn to Viv. “What the hell?”
“Uh, yeah. What the hell was your aunt thinking?” she volleys back. “Why would she assume we’re getting engaged?”
“Because she ‘s a meddling old lady? Because she’s just yapping, making small talk?”
“Small talk is ‘how are your classes going?’. Small talk is about the weather. It’s not, ‘Hey, when are you gonna marry my nephew?”
“Well, thanks to your response, she now knows the answer to that question is never.”
“Hold up,” Viv says, taking a step out into the hallway. “Are you saying I’m the asshole here? What the hell, Mickey? You know our agreement as well as I do. We’re not serious about each other. We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, Okay,” I say, shaking my head. My brain is too full to deal with this shit right now, and I know I need to walk away before I say something I’ll regret.
Viv puts her hand on my arm to stop me. “What is happening? We are besties with bennies. That’s what we’ve been for weeks now. We are not in a relationship. Why are you suddenly acting like you have no idea what I’m talking about?”
On any other day, I could handle it. Hell, I’ve handled it for weeks now. But all these changes are adding up and throwing me off. “What do you think this is, Viv? We hang out, we spend every minute together, we say ‘I love you’, we fuck each other’s brains out on the regular. I’m not the smartest guy in the room, but that’s a relationship. And I know you can’t call it that. I know you’re allergic to commitment or whatever, but come the fuck on. Would it have killed you to just play along? To just let it go? Or is the idea of dating me so fucking terrible that you have to let everyone you meet know that you’d never do it?”
Viv’s practically shaking. “It’s not that simple, and you know it. I never lied about that. I was always honest with you. I don’t do love.”
“Don’t you?” I ask, my dumbass heart forcing the question.
“No,” she says plainly. “I’m not cut out for it.”
Her words finally sink into my super thick skull. This is really never happening between us. There’s no magic waiting period. She’s never going to see me any differently than she sees her asshole ex of Jake Fucking Lanza. We’re never going to have that moment where we realize we’ve been in love all along. My brain knows the truth, but I still have to ask. “So, what? This is it? We’re done? This is over?”
Viv opens her beautiful mouth, but I open my trap faster, cutting her off. “I swear to god, if you say that we’re not over because we never even started, I will lose my ever-loving-shit.”
She stays quiet, but her wide hazel eyes tell a million different stories.
Any minute now, she’s going to start explaining how she never wanted to hurt me, that she was upfront from the beginning.
That may all be true, but I’m not sticking around to hear it.
26
Mickey
Ican’t fucking sleep.
