I find his words already etched on the stone. A shot of remorse goes through me when I allow myself to take in his wary expression. In this moment, I realize a part of me was punishing him for not communicating with me sooner.
I’m safe. Are you okay?
He waves a dismissive hand, disregarding my concern, but he doesn’t go for the tablet again. Instead, he just stares at me as if he thinks I’m going to disappear at any moment or like he’s expecting me to say something to him. The problem is, I don’t know how to bridge this gap between us, and that thought makes me terribly sad.
What happened to your room?
Me.
He doesn’t hesitate to take responsibility.
Tell me what it’s like there.
Cold all the time. I’m not sure how I managed to keep my fingers and toes from falling off, especially when I first got here.
Ziv flinches, and I feel bad for complaining, even though that wasn’t really my intent.
But they didn’t.
Since there’s no question mark, I’m assuming he’s making a statement. It feels like a subtle reminder that things aren’t as bad as I make them seem, but in this case, it was worse. I don’t know how I survived those first days in the cell. It’s hard to even recall much of it now because it all feels like a blur. I think my mind blocked most of it out, but I do remember how hungry I was, and I will never forget the cold.
Instead of answering on the tablet, I lift my right hand and wiggle my fingers, proving him right. While I may have all my fingers and toes, it doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t sure I would.
What about the wolf? Is he taking care of you? Where is he now?
I asked him to give me some time alone.
Are you sure that’s safe?
I can take care of myself.
The slight widening of Ziv’s eyes says my statement surprised him. I doubt he believes me. Most days I don’t even believe me, but no one else here seems to doubt my ability, especially Sunny. It’s surreal to realize that coming to Frostburn gave me the one thing I always thought I wanted—power.
There’s something I need to tell you.
I look up to meet his swirling eyes and find him already staring at me as if he anticipated what was coming. Gods, this would be so much easier if I could just speak to him. Thinking about what I’m going to write causes too much pressure. Maybe this should wait until… I don’t know when, because there’s really no guarantee I will ever see him in person again.
Panic tries to set in when I allow myself to think about how much time I wasted avoiding him and Kage, knowing this could be the last time I ever lay eyes on him.
Ziv shifts forward as if to get closer. He even lifts his arm like he’s going to reach for me, but his hand falls limply on his lap. “What’s wrong?” I have no problem reading his mouthed words. I wish it was all that easy. I point to my lips then ear.
This would be so much easier if I could talk to you. I can’t organize my thoughts like this.
Ziv rakes his teeth over his bottom lip before picking up the writing implement for the tablet.
ZIV
Ibegin to drag the quill over the tablet, barely beginning the first letter of the word I intend to write before losing the nerve. I know exactly what I want to say. I’m just not sure how she’s going to respond to the idea, and I would be lying if I didn’t have some of my own reservations. The idea I’m about to propose is invasive on every level. There is nothing she will be able to hide from me if she agrees, and the same goes for me. She will be privy to every single thought in my head, past and present, but she will still be at a serious disadvantage.
I believe there is a way we could speak. Usually, it would require physical touch, but since we are already connected, I believe it would work.
What would work?
Mental communication.
It’s not an accident that I’m looking straight at her while writing. I need to see her reaction. I wish I could say my only concern stems from making sure she understands what it would entail and the risk involved, but my mind doesn’t work the same way hers does. Getting a glimpse inside my head could easily overwhelm her senses. Her mind may shut down to protect her, leaving her with no memory or comprehension of what she felt, but the truth is, there’s a small part of me that is worried she will outright deny me before I even have a chance to explain. Briar has been closed off since the day she accepted we aren’t coming for her. I foolishly thought that would change after our reunion, but if anything, she feels even further away than before. I know there are things she’s keeping from me, and I’m driving myself insane with the need to know the secrets I see behind her beautiful, guarded eyes.
She tilts her head a little, examining my features as if she might see through me. I have no idea what she sees in my gaze, but when she doesn’t reject the notion immediately, I write out a detailed explanation, allowing her time to digest the idea and the magnitude of my request, then end my message with a vow.
