CHAPTERNINETEEN
SPENCER
It seems so obvious now.Gabriel knows what he’s available for. He’s clear and certain, and his decisiveness has held strong for years.
Listening to his story, understanding how committed he is to staying single, it finally dawns on me that all of these qualities would make Gabriel the perfect partner for exploring my sexuality. He’s chosen a life of pleasure and fun, and even though it kills me that he’s been hurt so many times, even though a big part of me wants him to find love again, I respect what he’s chosen for himself, too.
And I want some of that pleasure and fun for myself. I want more of what I had with Gabriel in the hotel, and I’m finally ready to admit to myself how deep that desire runs.
Strangely, the fact that he’s totally unavailable for emotional entanglement makes him feel safe. Like the relief of knowing that he’s not interested in romance will help me keep my own emotional reactions under control.
Anonymous sex is still inconceivable to me, but maybe in this specific situation, with this very unique person, a sexual arrangement would make sense. It’s nothing we haven’t done already.
“Spencer,” he says, his rough voice low and steady as he draws out my name. Before I can chicken out or second guess my horny logic, I swallow and drop my hand to his knee.
“Gabriel,” I say.
He raises a soft smile. “Look at my husband taking charge.” He pushes his leg against mine. “Maybe once wasn’t enough to get it out of our systems after all.”
My heart beating, I stay close. “We have to be clear about this,” I tell him. “If we hook up again—”
He growls appreciatively, which catches me off guard, almost making me laugh.
“If we hook up again,” I continue, “we need to be clear about what it means. Otherwise, it’s going to complicate our marriage and our professional arrangement.”
Gabriel moves closer to me, sliding his body up to mine. He’s got a devilish look in his eyes, and it’s making me feel all kinds of ways.
“Keep talking dirty like that,” he jokes, “I’ll agree to whatever you want.”
“We shouldn’t make this more difficult for our ourselves,” I tell him.
“Then we won’t. Nothing changes. Same expectations as before.”
“Yes,” I agree. “The same.”
Oh shit. This is happening.
“We’d be friends with benefits,” I add quickly, nervous still, but Gabriel doesn’t seem to mind.
“Only as long as we’re both into it,” he says. “No pressure.”
“Right,” I say. “No pressure.”
Except the incredible pressure building at my core, demanding release.
Somehow, my body is over Gabriel’s. We’re barely touching, the couch beneath us and my foot on the floor, one hand on the armrest to support my weight.
He arches up to meet me. Gabriel draws his lips over mine, and against the heat of his mouth, the charge of anticipation is more than I can handle.
I groan and open my mouth, and Gabriel meets me in a kiss. His arms wrap around my shoulders and he pulls me to the couch. Hands everywhere, bodies tangled, his body is tight against mine.
My erection is rock hard, pulsing against Gabriel’s bulge. His hand snakes around my neck, stroking my collarbone and up to my jaw, and it feels so good, I nearly roar.
Yeah. I’m ready for more of this.
Gabriel pushes me down, gaining his position on top. His hair is messy, and his eyes flash with wild energy. “My husband is horny today,” he says. “I like it.”
“Good.” I push his hair back, locking his gaze as I work to summon my confidence. “Because I’ve got a million things I want to do to you right now.”
