Wow. He really is a himbo.
That’s cool.
I smile back, deciding to roll with it. “Sure! I can call your assistant.”
“Stick around,” he says. “Have a drink!”
All the jitters about the meeting suddenly have nowhere to go, but I’m a little relieved, too, that I won’t have to decide about his offer yet.
Not one to miss an opportunity, it only takes me five minutes before I’m sitting out back by the pool, my feet cooling in the water and a fancy cocktail in my hand. I eat fruit out of the cocktail glass and lean back, taking in the large gathering that bustles around me.
I’m at Jules the Himbo’s incredible birthday party filled with cool people in a Los Angeles mansion. It’s like I’ve finally made it, but with the sun shining down on me, all I want is to go back to Lake Steamy.
All I want is Chase.
Fuck.
He would probably hate this party. Maybehateis too strong a word, actually. If he were here with me, we’d be finding all kinds of things to laugh about. I’d tease him and get him in the pool, and he’d act all sweet and polite about the fact that there are a good number of people sunbathing naked, and that there’s a very loud conversation about costumes and sex happening by the bar.
I sigh. People are talking about costumes and sex, and I don’t even care enough to join them.
I’m broken. The only thing I know how to care about anymore is Chase, but I can’t have him.
That’s when it hits me: part of me would be willing to trash this whole opportunity if it meant I could stay with Chase and make a life at Lake Steamy.
The realization is a shock. It scares me. I’m an independent person with big dreams, and it goes against everything I know about myself to even consider sacrificing the work I’ve put in.
But then I think about saying goodbye to Chase at the end of the summer. I remember the hurt on his face when we parted ways at the lake, and my chest aches. I can’t lose him. I just fucking can’t.
I almost start crying right there by the pool, exhausted by the impossibility of it all.
I’d burn down my whole life to be with Chase, but then what? Then who would I be?
Fuck, it’s scary to need him like this.
“Why so glum?” I hear from behind me, and I turn to see a man who looks like he’s in his fifties, sitting in one of those long vinyl beach chairs. His ankles are crossed, and he’s wearing a red Speedo and sipping a cocktail.
“Oh. Hi.” I adjust my sunglasses. “Sorry. Am I frowning and bringing down the party?”
“Nothing to apologize for.” He smiles. “Anything you want to get off your chest?”
I hesitate. I don’t want to vomit my emotions on a stranger, but talking to someone is probably a better strategy than moping alone.
“I tried to launch a social-media career, all my videos flopped, and then my YouTube got banned. I’m here because Jules offered to do a video with me, which could save my career, but I can’t even figure out if I want to take him up on the offer because I’m in love with a man who lives in the middle of the mountains.”
“How about that,” he says and takes a noisy sip from his drink. “Middle of the mountains, huh?”
“Adirondacks.”
“You don’t like it there?”
I sigh sadly, lean back, and kick at the water. “It’s paradise. I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I’ve been this summer.”
The man chuckles. “My wife is right over there. Far as I’m concerned, paradise is wherever she is.” He slurps his drink again. “What kind of videos?”
“Vlogs. I was going for a body-positive, sex-positive, educational thing.”
“Can I see?”
