“There’s no point.” I shake my head, steeling myself. “He’ll never want to live here. It will just hurt more to drag things out.” My voice catches in my throat when I think of Cubby leaving. “I need to find a way to move on.”
“If you say so.”
I look out over the lake. This town is who I am. It’s my home, my family, my history. A person can’t just abandon something like that. As I watch some geese fly low across the water, though, an even more painful truth hits me.
“I can’t leave,” I tell my best friend, my voice rough, “but this place will never be the same without Cubby.”
It’s the awful reality that I was always so scared of. I’m not just losing Cubby. In a way, I’m losing my home, too, and the dream that everything I want is right here by the lake.
I’m broken in two. I’ll never have my happiness, but at least Cubby will have his. At least he can still live his dreams and be the person he’s meant to be, far away from here.
Tears sting the corners of my eyes, and I resign myself back to my loneliness. I’d just accepted being alone as a part of my life before, but now that I know something different, the feeling hurts so much more.
Sully rubs my shoulder, letting it be how it is.
“It’s a shame it can’t be him,” my friend says sadly.
“Yeah,” I agree. “It is.”
* * *
CUBBY
I hop in a taxi at the Los Angeles airport and give them the address Jules’s assistant sent me. I didn’t expect everything to move so fast, but as soon as Jules put me in touch with her, she gave me a time and location and everything, all that Friday afternoon.
And with Los Angeles being humongous, I have to go there straight from the airport. At least the mad rush keeps me distracted from how absolutely wrecked I feel about Chase.
Nothing like a last-ditch effort to save your career to distract a person from devastating heartbreak.
I only have a carry-on with me, a large shoulder bag with everything I need carefully stored inside. In the back of the car, I quickly put myself back together, fixing my hair, straightening my suspenders, and going over all my notes.
I still don’t know if I’m going to do a video with Jules, and the decision feels daunting, potentially life-altering in so many ways.
We pull up to a towering white mansion of a house with a sprawling, flat yard. It makes me think about Chase’s cabin, where there’s stuff growing everywhere, and I wish he were here so I could tell him that I like the nature better than this over-manicured landscaping.
I guess Jules lives here? I’m still not sure why he’s been so nice or why his assistant rushed me out. But it’s not until I get buzzed through the gate and see how many cars are in the lot that I feel totally lost.
“Fuck. Famous people live such weird lives.”
I walk inside, and instantly, I’m in the middle of what feels like a party in a movie. There’s a DJ, drinks and little appetizers all over the place, and gorgeous people in fancy outfits in every corner. I walk in slowly, turning and taking it all in.
Maybe this is the wrong place.
A guy about my age who looks like a skinny hobbit stops about a foot away from me to look at his phone. “Excuse me,” I say, stepping toward him. “Do you know if Jules is here?”
He looks at me, annoyed. “Duh.It’s his birthday party.”
“His birthday party?”
I look up, and right at that moment, I lock eyes with Jules across the room. He’s handsome in a Ken-doll way, and he points right at me, his eyes wide.
He struts over, a birthday sash hanging across his chest. “Cubby from the email,” he says as he approaches me, a small, fashion-forward entourage hot on his tail. “You made it.”
I shake my head. “Jules! I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize this was your birthday party.”
He stares at me with a blank, happy smile on his face, and then it dawns on him. “Oh! Right. Yeah.” He renews his smile. “It’s my birthday today. Sorry about that. Maybe we should meet tomorrow to talk business?” He chuckles. “No wonder my assistant tried to get me to reschedule this meeting.”
I blink.
