“Good.” Piper smiles, then leans across the table to straighten my shirt. “Now come on, cutie. The bears are waiting for their honey.”
* * *
The dark bar sits on a quiet corner, only one dim light above the door to mark the entrance. It’s called Cavern, and I really do feel like I’m disappearing into a deep, dark hole as we step inside, leaving the warm summer night behind.
It’s intimidating, the same way being around the tattoo shop is intimidating. This just isn’t my world. I don’t have the skills to navigate a place like this, and I grab Piper’s elbow as we step inside and my eyes adjust.
There’s a long bar against one wall, a few pool tables in the back, and dark corridors. The crowd isn’t large, but there are older men scattered around, hunched over tables and drinking beer.
More than a few turn their steady stares my way, eating me up without hiding it. “Oh god,” I say, heavy rock music echoing around us. “I honestly do feel like a jar of honey.”
Piper laughs. “And I have a feeling I’m going to be the invisible woman tonight. Come on. Let’s get some drinks to steady ourselves.”
Piper charms the bartender while I cast my eyes around, taking the men in. The place has way more of a BDSM vibe than I expected, at least based on all the leather I spot, but there are plenty of guys who look like they came straight from work, too.
And almost no one my age. A shiver goes across my skin. I feel even more exposed and out of place, but from the way a few men keep eyeing me, I realize that I might actually have some options tonight.
Maybe not a dream date, but someone cute enough to have fun with?
Piper hands me a cocktail, then nods to an open table. “What are you thinking?”
“Just considering whether I’m actually capable of anonymous sex.” I dart my eyes around. “A guy my age would be one thing, but this is next level.”
Piper shrugs. “Remember those pictures of your dad? He looked like he would fit in somewhere like this. Consider it inspiration. You might have it in your genes.”
My thoughts immediately return to Caesar. “Right,” I say, “although I’m not sure it really works that way.”
It’s weird, but the more I learn about Mack, the more I understand the distance between us. How a guy like him ended up with my mom, I’m not sure. But even with the new information, in some ways, he feels as far away as ever.
I’ve even started calling him that in my head—Mack. He might have helped make me, but he wasn’t my dad in any real way. The way Caesar says his name, Mack, somehow feels right in a way “dad” or “father” never did.
“You know, I’m nothing like my mom,” Piper points out. “We’re, like, truly opposites. But then my grandma on my dad’s side, Nana?”
“You and her are basically the same person,” I say with a nod, remembering.
“Family is weird.” Piper shrugs. “But hey, at least you get along with that Caesar guy. That counts for something.”
Hearing Caesar’s name makes me flush, I can feel the warmth on my cheeks. “I might have more in common with Caesar than I realized,” I mumble.
“What?” Piper asks, holding her hand to her ear while the music blares.
“Caesar,” I say louder. “He said something the other day. I’m not sure, but it kind of sounded like he and my dad…” I trail off, then wave my hands in the air. “You know?”
Piper peers at me and tilts her head to the side. “Huh?”
“It almost sounded like they had sex,” I yell.
“Oh.” Piper blinks, her long lashes fluttering, then sips from her drink. “Really?”
“Maybe I was confused?”
“Because you think he’s hot?”
I bury my face in my hands. I’ve been trying to not fixate on this. It was a weird moment, and it feels like a total violation on my part to get so obsessed with it. Caesar is being nice to me, and I turn around and develop weird sexual fantasies about him, and this delusion about him and my dad…
Yuck. Something is wrong with me.
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “I should probably just finish my tattoo and call it good. Like, if he did have sex with my dad, then it would be even grosser for me to want to have sex with him, right?”
