“Whatever you want to try,” Rafael says. “I’m down.”
“You’re a bottom, though,” I point out.
“Not exclusively. If you want to learn how to bottom, I’m sure I’ll have no problem topping you.”
I slap my hand over my face. My cheeks feel warm, and I’m dizzy, and I just can’t look at him right now, so I laugh instead.
Rafael chuckles. “Too much?”
“It’s fine,” I answer, then shake my head. “Just, you know…” I wave my hands in the air next to my head and make a weird, exasperated noise, lolling my tongue. I have no idea what in the hell I’m trying to communicate, but somehow Rafael gets it anyway, and we both laugh.
“Weirdos,” we both say, then laugh again.
I manage to compose myself. I turn to the notebook and cross off the entire subset of questions that we just answered. “So, we’ll just see where things go from here.”
He nods. “Cool.”
“Should I cut things off with Davis? I mean, we’re not really dating, but I am supposed to see him at the con, and I know he wants to go on a proper date.”
He does look a little thrown by that question, although I’m not sure why. “Oh, no,” he answers. “I guess not.”
“I won’t have sex with him,” I say quickly. “Not while we’re doing this.” It’s not like I was about to jump into bed with him anyway, but I need Rafael to hear this.
He rubs the back of his head. “I guess, if you decide you want to at some point, we can just cut this off.”
“Right.” Although, no way in hell am I going to cut things short with Rafael.
Now the kitchen is kind of awkward and quiet, so I just hurry to the next question I’d jotted down. “Do you promise to tell me if I’m not good at something?”
“Alexander, honestly, you’re one of the best lays I’ve ever had, right from the start. You don’t have to worry about that.”
I fiddle with my spoon. Rafael doesn’t lie to make people feel better, or really for any reason.
The sex last night was amazing for me. Literally unforgettable. But I thought that was just because I’d never had sex that I enjoyed before.
Could it really have been that good for him, too?
I finish my coffee. “I can’t believe you just called me a lay,” I say. Then we both laugh.
“Are there any more questions on your list?”
“Just, if you could write down some supplies for me? Like, are there certain kinds of lube I should get, for example?”
Rafael grins. He leans across the table and surprises me with a peck on the lips. “We can use my lube.”
“Oh, okay.” I close the notebook. “I guess I should get ready for work, then.”
“I’m going to get some drawing in before my last shift at the coffee shop.”
Our eyes connect. Rafael and I smile at each other across the table, and after a heartbeat, we both stand and head into our days.
It’s almost like any other day, but not quite.
* * *
“You’re going to be an honorary tattoo boyfriend! That’s so cool!”
My friend Milo sits across from me, smiling. We’re on a bench in the park, catching up during our lunch breaks and planning for the comic con we’re all attending soon, a tradition that our friend group started about five years ago. Milo is doing his Botany PhD at a university not far from my library, and I notice the new flower inked onto his forearm, sticking out from under the bright pink of his vintage polo.
