The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Fuck, did I ever want to stand up and walk out the door rather than see the hurt tighten Noah’s face. I turned to Peyton, searching for comfort in his steady strength, and his eyes wrinkled with compassion.
It helped. Just looking at him helped.
I let out a breath.Stay steady, I told myself.
“No, it’s okay,” Noah said, then sighed. “We have a difficult relationship. And you’re right. He’s a bastard.”
I blinked, kind of shocked. “I thought you were so close to them. I thought they’d be so happy with how successful you are.”
Noah crossed his arms over his chest, frowning. “Do you really think they’re happy about anything?” He shook his head, frustration twisting his expression. “They lied to me about you leaving,” he said again.
And again, emotions stirred up in me that I couldn’t grip. There was comfort in knowing that it wasn’t just me, ruining the family, but that was cut with anger that they had treated Noah poorly, too. That even my perfect little brother wasn’t good enough for them.
And again, I looked to Peyton. He was like a rock, and something inside of me fucking clung to him.
“Shit,” I said and rubbed the back of my head. “Well, now I’m even more sorry I wasn’t there for you, Noah.”
He shook his head. “We’ll give it a try now, yeah? And make sure we don’t let our parents get in the way this time?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Sounds good.”
There was a hell of a lot more for us to deal with. But after the dinner and the conversations, the possibility that things could go well opened up in front of me. Noah might even give Peyton a chance when they talked later. He might really accept me, in ways I was only beginning to hope for.
And right then, I did start to hope.
* * *
PEYTON
When Jet took off, I made up an excuse to stay behind and talk to Noah. The night had gone well. Great, actually. I was impressed with both of them for opening up to each other and talking. It wasn’t easy, not for Noah and I knew not for Jet, either, but they had done it, what felt like a major step in reentering each other’s lives.
No matter how optimistic I felt, though, once Noah and I were alone and the moment came, my stomach sank with dread.
Fuck, did I need him to understand. It probably wasn’t fair of me to need that, but I did.
He and I walked a stack of dirty dishes to the kitchen. The back window was cracked open, and the night was quiet outside.
“Hey, Noah. I need to talk to you about something.”
Noah turned. He had a smile on his face, and it hit me in the gut when I recognized the similarity between him and his brother all over again, the chin and the slightly lopsided way they both smiled. They were different in so many ways, but now that I’d seen what was shared, I couldn’t stop seeing it. “What’s up?” he asked pleasantly.
I took a seat at the counter. “I’m not sure how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.”
Noah slid the dishes into the sink and turned, his expression tightened with concern. “Okay.”
“A few weeks ago, before we met each other, Jet and I… um, met each other.”
Noah took a seat at the stool across from me. “Okay?”
I sighed. “We had sex.”
Noah stared at me for a second, then broke out laughing. “What? Stop joking, Peyton. You had me confused.” He frowned, and his voice ticked to annoyance. “You never joke like that. It’s not like you.”
“That’s because I’m not joking. I’m still figuring out what it means, but I’ve been experimenting, and I guess I’m bisexual.”
My jaw clenched tight, and I had to force myself to relax. Coming out was not necessarily getting easier as I did it more.
Noah’s face fell slightly. “Wait, seriously? You and Jet had sex?”
