“Well, yeah.”
“Damn, Peyton,” he laughed.
I threw a napkin at him. “Focus. He and Noah don’t have the easiest relationship. I clearly haven’t told Noah, and you know how he can be.”
“Uptight?”
I frowned. “He likes order. Stability.” They were qualities I’d always appreciated in Noah, and I honestly found his anal-retentive quirks calming. Now that I was about to bring chaos into his life, though, I could appreciate how Russell got theuptightimpression. “I’m not expecting him to take this well,” I admitted.
Russell offered a sympathetic nod. “I get how hard this is, Peyton. When Blake and Casey and I started hooking up, pretty much my first thought after my head cleared was what I was going to tell you and when. And I was still figuring out my style, exploring makeup…” He trailed off, then laughed. “It’s a lot.”
“Right,” I agreed.
“But you responded great because you’re a good guy and you care about all of us. People falling for each other is a good thing, not a bad thing. I know that the situation with Noah and his brother is different, but I can tell you one thing for sure. Hiding what you’re doing from someone you care about feels awful. You’ll do yourself a favor if you face the truth now.”
I considered his words, then caught myself. “We’re not falling for each other, though. We’re just hooking up,” I clarified. “Or we did hook up. Whatever.”
“Even lower stakes then, I guess.”
I swallowed. It didn’t feel like low stakes. More like the stakes were higher every minute, in ways I couldn’t quite process. When I closed my eyes, I could still sense Jet’s hard body, pressed to mine, and taste his sweat on my lips.
But keeping a secret like this from Noah wasn’t an option. The anxiety and guilt was already building beyond what I could handle, and lying to my friend just wasn’t in my nature.
By the time Russell had to hurry to the woodshop for his class, I accepted what I had to do. Lingering behind in the booth, I pulled up a text message to Jet. I’d managed to resist the temptation to text him since our hookup, but at least now I had a reason.
Hey, morning. Hope your week is good. I think I need to tell Noah what happened. What do you think? Do you want to talk first?
My stomach tightened. The night I headed to the bar where I met Jet, I hadn’t expected that I would be coming out of the closet a few weeks later. But I’d gotten myself in a corner with this, and the only way ahead was to be honest about it.
Hey, he texted back immediately. I watched the dots blinking for a minute; then the longer response appeared.Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ve been thinking the same thing. Thanks for reaching out about it, Peyton. I know that this means coming out for you.
Thanks.A knot in my shoulders relaxed, relief washing through me that he understood.And if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell him solo?The thought of Jet sitting there and witnessing my coming out was just too bizarre to process.
Sure, he and I can talk on our own time. Maybe you can do it after dinner?
I blinked.Dinner?
Noah messaged me this morning. Dinner at his place tonight? He said he invited you.
I flipped back in my phone. There were a few unread messages waiting for me, mostly work stuff that had come in while I was talking with my brother. But in the middle was a message from Noah, saying he’d decided on a whim to invite us both over for dinner that evening.
My mouth felt dry. I knew he’d decided to reach out to Jet again. Hell, I’d encouraged him to do it. I just hadn’t expected him to follow through it on so quickly. But when Noah was nervous about something, he was the type to jump the gun and get it over with, rather than drag it out and procrastinate.
Right, I texted to Jet.I’ll talk to him after dinner.
