Peyton
I had to tell Noah.
The fact dawned me on as I left the mansion and rose to clarity as the haze of sex faded. On the Lyft ride home, I cycled through waves of guilt, only lessened by the cathartic release of the sex I’d just had.
My body still tingled, and the yearning to go back to the mansion tugged at me. I felt loose, relaxed enough that I could have had fun just dancing to Jet’s music and watching him work.
And then came another wave of guilt to smack me in the face.
Coming out to Noah was the only solution. It was clear that I couldn’t trust myself around Jet and that, bizarrely, he couldn’t keep his hands off me, either.
But telling Noah the truth was only the first step in being honest with myself and everyone else I knew. It was going to be particularly challenging to tell him of all people, but that wasn’t going to be the end of it.
Which was why, the very next day, I made breakfast plans with my brother Russell first.
I met him at this little diner, halfway between our places. Russell was a few years younger than me, and he’d been the shy one in our large family. We always had a good relationship, and we got even closer after our father died. But since moving to Pittsburgh, he’d finally come into himself. Russell had found his style, his own path in life, and the relationship he’d always wanted.
And in a surprise to everyone, that relationship was in a triad with my two best friends from high school. So even though I was used to being the older brother who worked hard and had the sensible advice, that morning, Russell was the experienced one, the brother I needed for guidance.
He strolled into the diner, and his face opened up in a wide smile when he spotted me. Russell was wearing a blue denim work shirt, probably heading to the woodshop later. The bright pink of his painted nails flashed when he waved to me, and when I met him for a hug, I saw that he’d done his eyes for breakfast.
“Looking good,” I said, pausing to admire the intricacy of the dusty blue eyeshadow.
Russell fluttered his eyelashes. “Thank you.”
We slid into the seats and quickly started catching up. Since Russell’s partners were my old friends, we often all ended up spending time together, but I immediately regretted not making a point to catch more one-on-one time with my brother. We flew through some family updates and exchanged progress reports on our careers, and he gave me the latest on life as part of a three-person relationship.
By the time we were hyped up on coffee and halfway through our omelets and hash browns, I’d almost forgotten the crisis that had driven me to text him. But then Russell leaned back in the booth, tossed down his fork, and slightly raised his eyebrow. “So… why’d you text?” he asked sweetly.
“Right.” I took another sip of my coffee, then cleared my throat. “So, I hooked up. With someone. Twice.”
Russell pursed his lips, trying not to smile but failing. “Oh?”
I grunted. “There’s a few things about it. I’m not sure where to start, except that the person is Noah’s brother.”
Russell blinked. Then he blinked again. “Wait, what?” His eyes popped wider, and his voice lifted. “Oh my god! Peyton! You had sex with a man!”
“Hush!” I huffed the word. “Russell, damn it.”
He threw a hand over his mouth as he glanced around the diner. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. Just, please, keep it down. And please don’t tell anyone else. You’re the first person I’m talking to about any of this.”
First person who wasn’t Jet, I thought. He’d seen sides of me no one else had.
“Of course,” Russell nodded. “And I’m sure it goes without saying Blake and Casey will be totally supportive of you, whenever you’re ready to tell them that you’re…” He trailed off, prompting me to say something.
“Bi, I guess.”
Russell smiled widely. “Cool. Oh my god, I had no idea, though! I mean, you always said that you just didn’t have much of a sex drive, so I figured maybe that wasn’t an important part of your life. And you only ever seemed interested in girls, and your best friend was bisexual, so I didn’t figure you were homophobic or anything.” He sucked in a deep breath, then lifted his mug, still beaming. “Wow, Peyton. I’m just so happy for you.”
I chuckled. Seeing how pleased my brother was made feel embarrassed for taking this long to share with him. “Our family is pretty gay,” I laughed.
“As soon as you tell Clayton, let me know,” he said, referring to our oldest brother and the first Young sibling to come out. “We need a queer brothers Facetime.”
I adjusted my glasses. “Well, honestly, I’m still figuring out my pace for all this. Coming out is kind of a lot. But since it’s Noah’s brother I hooked up with, I don’t have a lot of time.”
I watched as Russell processed the rest of the information, the gears ticking while he stared at me. “Oh, yeah. Wow.” He suddenly leaned forward. “Noah’s brother, that muscled dude from the party?” he practically yelped.
