Russell
River and I walked into the woodshop, which was empty, as I’d expected. When I hit the lights, all the long wooden tables and racks of tools came alive.
I took in a deep inhale of the sawdust smell. “Don’t you love it?”
He smiled wide, then sniffed the air. “Yeah, it’s nice.” He laughed. “Not as much as you do, though.”
“That’s probably true,” I agreed with a chuckle, then brought us over to my station.
It was Wednesday night, and Blake and Casey were going to be meeting us soon, as well as River’s husband Leo. I was so excited about all of it I had trouble sleeping the night before.
All my people were getting together to talk about tools with me. That was basically a holiday in my book.
River hopped up to sit on the wooden counter, then bumped the back of his pointy black boots against the cabinets beneath. Like always, he looked carefully put together, with a practical blue work shirt tucked into his jeans and a stylish pair of red suspenders that added just the right amount of flair.
Unlike me. I’d tried to pick a cute flannel and jeans, but I had definitely chickened out when it came to wearing my makeup to the shop. Running into someone from my class was a possibility, and I just wasn’t ready to risk all of that yet or face rejection in front of the people I cared about.
I tried to forgive myself for not feeling more confident, and River caught my eye. “So,” he asked, “before everyone else gets here… Any updates?”
I grinned. That I was actually quite happy to talk about.
“Thank you for asking,” I said as I looked over the tools I was planning to use. “We’ve hooked up three more times, since I last talked to you.”
River arched his eyebrow. “So, like, every day?”
I winced. “Yes? Now I’m just worried I’m going to start expecting it.”
“Just a casual romp after dinner with the roommates,” River laughed. “Nothing complicated about that.”
I sat down at the counter. The truth was, ever since we went shopping, Blake and Casey and I had trouble keeping our hands off of each other. After avoiding each other in the house a couple of weeks ago, now we were constantly running into each other and finding ways to catch just a little more time.
We’d even passed out together in Casey’s bed the other night. Sure, he’d snuck off in the morning before Blake and I woke up, but falling asleep between their warm bodies, it was a dream.
Thank god I had a friend to talk to. “Can I get some advice, actually?”
River nodded. “Of course. Before I met Leo, I actually made just about every mistake you can make in a relationship, so I have lots of experience to pull from.”
I laughed. “Good to know.” I tried to think of the right way to phrase the question that had been gnawing at me. “Is it okay to want more, when you’re doing something casual?” I asked.
“Is it okay?” River asked. He tilted his head, and his long hair fell to the side.
“It feels like it’s maybe wrong,” I said. “Like, we’ve all said that casual is good, and it is. I want to date and explore and find myself and all that stuff—it’s why I moved to Pittsburgh. And the guys are super sweet, and I’m having so much fun. But I think I actually want something more than this, too, and I haven’t told them that.”
I scratched the back of my head. That was more than I’d said to myself about it, actually.
River smiled. “You’re falling for them,” he said. “That’s great.”
“Except that it’s against the rules,” I pointed out.
River rolled his eyes. “There’s norulesfor how you can feel, Russell. But you probably should talk to them, since you’re already guilting yourself about it.” He reached out and tapped my heart. “Listen to all those feelings, and that means the happy ones, too.”
I sighed. “So I guess I’m interested in a triad?”
“Sounds like it,” River agreed. “It’s really not that different than a couple, just with one more person involved.”
“When I try to think about it, it actually seems a lot more complicated.”
River laughed. “Besides that, does it feel nice, when you do fantasize about it?”
