Just sitting at the table with the two of them, I already wanted more.
And once I decided I wanted something, I had a way of jumping on it.
“Oh yeah?” Casey asked with a smile. “Should the three of us have some fun while Russell’s living here? I’m down.”
Russell’s mouth was softly open, and his fork was dangling from his hand. “Like, we’d be dating?”
I pointed at Casey. “He doesn’t do relationships,” I said.
“Ever?” Russell asked, surprised.
Casey stood to gather plates, and my eyes went straight to his ass, looking good and full in his sweatpants. “Russell didn’t say relationship, he said dating,” he clarified. “But I’m not a big fan of either. It’s kind of like cooking for me.”
I folded my arms over my chest. I’d heard this theory of his before, but I still wasn’t sure that I bought it.
“I love cooking,” Casey continued as he took the dishes to the sink. “It’s my favorite thing. But if I tried to make a job out of it, I’d probably start to hate it.”
“Yes,” I clarified to Russell, “having a relationship is like a job in Casey’s brain.”
“It’s just different,” Casey laughed, “when you make something into a commitment. Luckily for you both, though, a hot threesome among friends counts as fun. That’s assuming everyone’s into something casual, of course.”
Russell nodded eagerly, an excited light in his eyes. “Definitely. Casual works for me. I don’t know if I’m ready for a serious relationship anyway.”
My chest tightened. It’s not like I forgot who Casey was, or what he was looking for. But for just a second, the three of us hanging together had felt like we could be something more. Or at least something different.
It hit me all over again. I’d just admitted to myself that I actually wasn’t straight after all, and now I was wanting things and needing things that I couldn’t quite comprehend.
I did want those two, though, Casey and Russell. And I wasn’t about to deny myself what I could have just because of some confused feelings. If this was what my guys wanted, I wasn’t going to go and mess it up.
My guys… the guys… whatever.
“Sure,” I said with a grunt. “Casual.”
