Whimpers poured across his lips like a waterfall. His long cock tasted sweet in my mouth, and I greedily lapped his precum as I groped his firm cheeks.
Izzy fell forward and threw his hands against the wall to steady himself. My name slipped into his needy noises, the only word in his soundless begging, and his cock swelled between my lips.
Izzy rocked his hips forward. A deep moan escaped his chest as my mouth filled with his wet release. I rubbed my hands all over, trying to feel him everywhere, as the aftershock pulsed through me.
When he climbed down, we rolled into each other’s arms. I felt him all over me at once, and our lips met in a soft kiss.
We were together, and now, nothing else seemed to matter.
Chapter Nineteen
Izzy
“How doyou know if you’re falling in love?”
Jo and I were sitting on a park bench. Across from us stood the big white domes of the Allegheny Observatory, while a wooded area spread out behind our backs.
We were meeting Shawn for an event at the observatory later. Thankfully, Jo and I had arrived early enough that I had time to get into things before Kai’s friend arrived.
“Excuse me? Back this up now?” Jo pushed her sunglasses back and blinked dramatically at me. “Is that really you?”
I laughed and shoved her shoulder, my hand glancing the collar of her T-shirt. “Shut it. I’m not saying I am in love. I’m just asking, how do you know when you’re starting to fall in love?”
Jo bounced her leg over her knee. “Well, I knew right away when I fell in love with Madison. I didn’t stop thinking about her for about a month straight, and when I realized that wasn’t really changing, I admitted it to myself. Are you thinking about him constantly?”
I considered it. “Not literally always, but pretty much.”
“And does he make you feel special? Are you convinced that there’s no one else in the world like him?”
I laughed, thinking about all the ways there really wasn’t anyone else in the world like him.
“He’s special,” I agreed, my hands dancing at my side. “We’re special together.”
Jo laughed warmly, her voice ringing out toward the observatory. “There’s obviously more you’re not telling me, Izzy. I know you were friends with Kai growing up, so it’s easier to get close now, but you haven’t had that many dates, and I’ve never seen you react like this to someone before.”
I chewed on my lip. There wasn’t really a way to get my best friend’s advice if I was keeping so much of my relationship with Kai a secret from her. I knew that Jo would never gossip, and I was confident that confiding in my best friend was allowed within my promise to Kai to be discreet.
Still, I had to push through a decade of silence to finally get the truth out of my mouth.
“So, there’s this thing I haven’t told you about…”
I scooted across the bench, dropping my voice lower, and the words tumbled out. The whole story poured from me as Jo listened. She moved through surprise and scandal and empathy, her expressions morphing as I allowed myself to share the whole truth with her, including the rollercoaster of ups and downs I’d had in my sexual confidence.
“Izzy, this is great!” she said when I finally finished. A smile was beaming on her face, and her eyes were wide. “You and Kai, the secret online lovers. It’s so cool.”
I snorted a laugh. My hands were a little shaky, but I felt relieved, like a knot of anxiety behind my shoulder had been suddenly loosened. “I don’t thinkcoolis the word most people would pick.”
Behind her sunglasses, I could tell she was rolling her eyes. “Who cares what most people think? You’re as sexually compatible as any two people could be, he treats you great, and you’re falling in love. It sounds like you hit the jackpot.”
“It’s not that easy,” I said. “He feels a lot of shame about the costumes and the fact that he was cybering. I think he’s moving through that, and it’s not like I need to dress up with him to feel satisfied or anything.” I sucked my lips between my teeth and chewed again. “I want to,” I mumbled. “But I don’t need to.”
“Right,” Jo said with a warm smile. “I get it.”
“But it’s a lot,” I continued. “And I’ve never been in love before, or even a serious relationship. Do I really have the skills to do something like this? And how am I supposed to navigate what I need from a relationship, and what I want in bed, and what Kai needs, and what he wants? How am I supposed to figure all of that out at the same time?”
The frustration and insecurities bubbled over as I sat there, overwhelmed by my emotions.
Maybe that was how you knew you were in love. Your emotions just became too much to handle.
