“I don’t,” I clarified. “With the business, I don’t have space in my life for one anyway. But that’s not totally by mistake. I built this life, and I could have built a place in it for love if I wanted to.”
River nodded. “I’m trying to learn from you.”
I placed my finger on the bottom of his chin, then brought his gaze back up to mine. “I’m trying to learn from you,” I said.
He reached out, and his graceful fingers traced over my cheekbones and trailed into my beard. When he stepped forward, I pulled him close, and we met in a kiss. His lips were plump and soft, and I held myself back for as long as I could, gently welcoming his embrace, before I pressed him back against the tree and devoured him.
We kept kissing as River whimpered into my mouth. His taste was familiar and sweet, and I could smell the smoke of the fire in his hair and on his clothes. He dragged his lips across my mouth and licked at my neck, instantly finding the spot that drove me wild.
It was a dream to hold him and explore him. Like at the river earlier, every moment I was close to River felt precious and rare.
And I did believe that there could be something there, and that still, I could keep the promise I had made to him earlier that afternoon. I knew that I was tempting fate, but maybe we could be perfect for each other.
Maybe he needed someone like me, just like I had realized I needed someone like him.
A twig snapping grabbed my attention, and when I spotted a light down the path, I stepped back from him quickly. He gasped air and reached for me, his face contorted with need. Then Kai’s voice called out, “You guys there?”
We jumped apart, and I adjusted my crotch to hide my erection right as Kai turned the corner. He walked slowly with his brace on and turned the light up, shining it in our eyes.
“Hey!” I grunted. “Easy with the brights, man.”
“I thought you might be down here.”
I turned to River, my heart pounding. If Kai hadn’t stepped on that stick, he would have caught us wrapped up in each other’s arms.
“We needed to escape the fire,” River said. “Leo couldn’t handle the passionate sounds of Cass and Shawn.”
Kai chuckled. “They woke me up. Who would have guessed your brother would talk so dirty?”
“La la,” I said loudly, my hands over my ears. “None of that.”
Kai laughed and spun his light in his hand. “Well, they’re done now. You two want to come back to the campsite with me?”
“Sure,” I said, relieved that we’d gotten off the hook again, and River and I took off behind Kai.
Walking side by side, almost like it was meant to be that way.
Chapter Eighteen
River
Back at theapartment a week later, Leo and I sat at opposite ends of the couch. I was slowly reading an oldTales of the Citynovel while Leo squinted at his laptop and answered emails. Every time I finished a chapter, I indulged in glancing up at him and appreciating his face.
I definitely wanted something more with Leo, but unlike with my previous relationships, I was still figuring out what that more should be. What we had right now felt good and healthy, and I knew that my old ideas of romance would ruin the whole thing. Instead, I was surprised that my desire wasn’t to promise him my undying love but just to keep learning about him.
To keep building whatever it was we were building and trust that we could figure it out best if we figured it out together.
There were all these little signs that things were different, too. The Pittsburgh Film Festival was looking for a freelancer to pick up a little work, and when Kai came to me, excited to share the opportunity, I jumped at it without even pausing to consider what Leo would think.
That might not have been a big deal to most people, but making decisions entirely based on myself instead of my latest infatuation was a challenge for me. I got all the affirmation I needed, though, when I learned the work would take me away from Silver Lining one day a week. Before I could even worry about the conflict, Leo came rushing to my desk to tell me he was excited about the news and to reassure that it wouldn’t jeopardize my work with him.
I couldn’t remember someone encouraging me to do my own thing since Marie. And even something small like that felt revolutionary, like I didn’t need to trash my own plans in order to make someone else happy.
It felt nice.
I was pulled from my thoughts when Kai stepped out of his room, a duffle bag in his hand.
“Time for your flight?” Leo asked.
