I groaned at the reminder that I had betrayed my friend’s trust. “River hasn’t offered me his undying love, no. That’s not the problem.”
“But there is a problem, I take it?”
We kept walking in silence, shaded by the large trees. “I want him to fall for me,” I finally admitted.
“Are you kidding me?” Cass let out a deep chuckle. “You hooked up with him, and now you want to hook up with him again? Call the newspapers.”
“Please don’t,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I have to deal with them enough already.”
“This is huge, Leo,” Cass continued. “Totally unprecedented. You’ve never maintained interest in a man for more than like, a week.”
“It’s unprecedented,” I agreed, “and totally disastrous. He doesn’t want a relationship right now, and I’d be risking my friendship with Kai if I tried anything.”
Cass grabbed his heart and pretended to choke. “You just said relationship,” he gasped.
I laughed and shoved him to the side. “Not helping.”
“You know what you need to do, Leo.”
“What?”
“You need to talk to them. To both of them. You need to tell River how you feel so that you can know if he has similar feelings, and you need to tell Kai the truth before it bites you in the ass.”
I shot him a sideways glare. “It’s not like you told me right away when you were hooking up with my brother.”
“More reason to trust my opinion. It’s too big of a deal for you to develop an interest like this, Leo. You need to make sure you treat River and Kai both with respect from the start. Otherwise, you might be screwing up something very special.”
The sound of the trickling river caught my attention as we rounded a curve in the path. The light opened up, and a nice breeze rose off the ground, cooling me.
I thought about it carefully, but the idea of telling Kai just freaked me out. “River really doesn’t want his brother to know,” I pointed out, although it felt kind of like a weak excuse as I said it.
“Then it sounds like you need to talk to River first.” Cass and I approached the water, which sparkled under the sunlight. It flowed gently, trickling over gray rocks as birds darted through the air. “You both have some things to sort out.”
Cass looked at me with a funny smile on his face, and I shoved his shoulder lightly as I turned away. “Shut up about it,” I laughed.
He grabbed me by the shoulders and messed up the back of my hair. “My little Leo, growing up right before my eyes,” he joked.
We lingered down by the water for a little while. We took off our shoes and waded in. The stones were slick under my bare feet, and the water ran cold, but with the sun beaming down, the cool felt like a relief. Cass asked me a million questions about River, and after a few minutes of feeling awkward, I let myself talk about him in the way I really wanted to.
His big heart, his unique perspective on the world, the way he was able to help me slow down and refocus on what really mattered in my life…
I even told Cass about the little things I’d been noticing, like the sounds he made when he was talking quietly to himself and the dreamy look in his eyes when he sat with his morning cup, gazing out the window.
By the time we got back to the campsite, daylight was turning into dusk. Kai was tending to a small fire, and River and Shawn sat in a couple of camping chairs, looking out over the hillsides as they drank cocktails from reusable plastic cups. River was making Shawn laugh, and as I watched, they both descended into giggles.
Cass and I exchanged a glance, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. It felt good to be there, all together. I was so lucky that he fell in love with my brother, and I wanted to believe I was standing there with one of my best friends, each looking at our man. But when I glanced back to Kai, I knew I hadn’t earned the right to enjoy that fantasy.
At least not yet.
“Did you find the water?” Shawn asked.
He and River rose to join us. In a hoodie and a little pair of denim shorts, River looked casual and comfortable, and I realized how much he and my brother must have in common to talk about. They were both dreamers with big hearts, and I knew it took a lot of strength to stay so gentle and open in a cynical world.
“It’s not far,” I answered. “We can spend the day swimming down there tomorrow.”
Kai stood and wiped his hands on his shorts as the fire crackled. “Perfect. I haven’t been swimming in years.” He grabbed a pointy stick and held a sausage in the air. “Hot dogs?”
“There’s tofu dogs, too!” Shawn piped up.
