We both faced the street and leaned back against the bench. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, and he was tapping his boot rapidly against the pavement.
“You pissed off?” he asked.
“No,” I sighed. “I mean, you didn’t realize that Rip was…” I trailed off, suddenly unable to say the wordbullyin front of him. “You didn’t realize that we knew each other?”
“Of course not,” he said. “That would be fucked up.”
I snorted a laugh out despite myself. “Yeah, it would be fucked up,” I agreed, echoing his language.
“I didn’t know Rip had done that, either,” Mars said. “He never told me those stories before.”
“Oh,” I said. “Were you upset?”
“We figured it out.”
I waited for him to say more but realized he was probably going to keep his cards close. Rip was his best friend, after all, and I was just some nerd he was killing time with. Still, a part of me ached to have him say more. I wanted him to declare that Rip was an asshole, and had always been an asshole, and that he wanted to be with me now.
That he wanted to be with someone nice.
Definitely jealous, I scolded myself.
“Well, I think he should be ashamed of himself,” I said flatly. “I’ve been talking to all my friends, and they agree.” I paused and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye again. “They all think I should stop talking to you, too, considering you’re so close to him.”
The last part wasn’t actually true, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. It was like I wanted to keep poking him. Like if I kept testing him, then maybe he would admit his true feelings to me, instead of always just staring off into space or deflecting with something flirty.
“I get it,” he said. “And if you don’t want to chill with me, I’m not going to argue. Just tell me, and I’ll hop back in my truck and be on my way. But you know, Clark, I’m not Rip.”
“I know,” I said softly.
“And honestly…” he trailed off, then kicked his boot against the dirt again.
“What?”
Mars sighed. “You’re not going to want to hear this, but Rip isn’t the guy you think he is, either. He’s changed.”
I snorted. “Whatever. Because he’s gay, I’m supposed to forgive him?”
“No,” Mars replied. “But you have to admit, it’s more complicated than him just being a bully. And it wasn’t just that he’s gay. His family situation was abusive, and he was rejected by everyone except for his aunt. Back when you knew him, he might have acted like a tough guy, but he was living in a world of pain.”
I clenched my jaw tight, but still, my heart ached. My mom had always loved and supported me, and even though she lived down in Portland now, we still drove to see each other every few weeks. I couldn’t imagine how much it hurt to have your mother abuse and reject you.
“Lots of people live through stuff like that without taking it out on another person,” I said. “I did.” I relaxed the muscles that had tensed in my shoulders, then sighed. “But thank you for telling me. I’m glad I know that.”
Mars turned on the bench to face me, and I reluctantly turned to look back. His gaze met mine, and for a second, I wanted to reach forward and brush the hair out of his eyes for him. Just as quickly, though, his hand flew up, and he did it himself.
“So where does that leave us?” he asked. “I got any chance of getting you out on a date again?”
“Maybe not a date,” I said, although I suddenly couldn’t stop staring at his lips and thinking about the way they felt against my skin. “But we could hang out, maybe. So long as you promise I’m not going to run into Rip.”
“Thank god,” Mars said. He reached into his pocket, then yanked out two tickets, handing them to me. “I don’t know who else I could have possibly recruited to go to these movies with me.”
I took the tickets, then laughed. “Mars!” I said. “How is that you’re acting cocky even when you’re doing something sweet for me?”
Mars grinned. “How is that cocky?”
I kept laughing. “I mean, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to talk to you again, but you went and bought two tickets for the day! I thought your money was tight?”
He shrugged, then pulled out his phone. “It is tight, and I probably shouldn’t have splurged. But get a load of this.” He handed the phone over to me, opening it to Instagram.
