Calm down, I told myself.They only know that you’re dating. It’s not like Dominick told them all what you get up to in bed.
When I made it back to the glass walls that marked his office, my heart sank a little. His desk was empty, and the phone inside was ringing with a noisy chime. I glanced down the hall, hoping to catch him returning from some meeting, but there were just more harried business types, talking into their phones as they hustled about.
“Excuse me, Xavier?”
I turned, facing the woman at the desk outside of his office. I knew Dominick had a number of assistants who worked for him, but I didn’t want to assume that was her job. “Yes, that’s me,” I said, tightening my grip on the bag of food. “Do you know if Dominick’s around?”
She let out a puff of air. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?”
I cocked my head to the side. “How do you mean?”
The woman pushed her glasses back into her hair, then looked me in the eye. “He went to New York rather unexpectedly last evening. You’d think the bottom fell out of the redevelopment project, the way everyone’s acting about it.” She lifted her phone, then scrolled through a couple of things. “He’s still doing all of his meetings over Skype, and he’s selectively available by phone, if there are urgent matters.”
My gut tightened, and when I tried to swallow, I realized my mouth had gone dry. “He’s back in New York?” I said.
“I would have assumed he told you,” she muttered to herself. “Do you want me to send a message?”
I looked down at the bag of food, then back to his empty office. Suddenly, I felt very foolish, like a teenager being stood up for prom.
Of course he wasn’t available. He always told me how busy he was, and still, I had convinced myself I could strut right into his office and find him waiting for me.
But it was worse than that. He’d gone back to New York, just like he always did. And now his assistant and everyone else in the office knew the truth of it. They might have been rooting for us, but I wasn’t important enough to even get a message that he was leaving. I had been fooling myself to pretend that Dominick had room in his life for me.
He barely even had room for himself.
“No, that’s fine,” I managed to say. I took a deep breath, then held the bag of food in front of me, suddenly eager to get rid of it. “Do you like Thai food?”
The woman shrugged. “Sure, I’ll take it. With Dominick gone, it’s been impossible to get a break.” She paused, then tapped her fingers against the desk. “Are you sure you don’t want to send along a message or something? I’m not entirely sure when he’ll be back, but I can’t imagine the trip will go on much longer. It’s already out of character for Dominick to take off like he did.”
Out of character. I wish I believed that.
“No,” I said. “But thank you.” I dropped the bag on her desk, then deposited the coffee beside it. “I’ll just be going.”
She started to say something else, but I was already heading across the office. Tears started forming in the corners of my eyes, and I picked up my pace, desperate to get out of there before anyone saw me crying. I couldn’t handle being known that way, like I was the silly boy who thought a man like Dominick would actually be there for me.
Like I was some heartbroken kid, just waiting to be left behind.
Every fiber of my being wanted Dominick and craved the comfort only he could offer me. Despite everything, despite learning this lesson before, I still needed that man who was so far away.
I punched the button to the elevator, and when it arrived, it was thankfully empty. Stepping inside and collapsing against the wall, I finally let the tears burst through. As I sucked in ragged breath after ragged breath, the horrible truth landed on me.
I was alone again, and I had no idea what to do about it.
