“Whatever,” I said, tossing the towel from my shoulder back on the bar. Lilith was getting into my head, and even if she were right that the guys had stronger feelings for me, I wasn’t in a place to hear it. I was essentially homeless and broke, and even with a steady job, my future wasn’t looking as bright and shining as theirs. I wasn’t a suitable prospect for anything except for a quick fuck. It was sweet that Lilith didn’t realize that, and it made me happy that she saw me in a different light than how I saw myself, but it didn’t change the reality.
They basically saved my life, and in return, I had nothing much more than a thick dick and a thorough pounding to offer.
“I’m going to take my break while we’ve got a slow minute. You mind?”
Lilith shook her head. “Go stew in the corner for a bit,” she teased. “Me and the barflies will be waiting here when you get back.”
I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m counting on it.”
When I got outside, I leaned up against the Steel Rose, feeling the last light of the day land on my face. I pulled out my toothpick, chewing on the end while I gazed down the street. I knew Ezra wasn’t working at the comic book shop that day, but it still made me feel good to look at the business. Unmarked by graffiti, the bright building looked safe and welcoming, and I liked to think I had a small part in making that true.
It was almost enough to warm my damn heart, but then I turned and caught a look at who was coming down the block.
It was the man who jumped me at the bar, the lumbering, towering prick who had tried to take me down a couple of weeks earlier. He was wearing that same dark suit, but this time, he was stumbling back and forth while he made his way toward me, clearly at least a little bit drunk.
I sucked in a breath, dropping my knees a little and shifting my weight to go into fighting stance. My mind started firing rapidly through possibilities. From the way he leaned forward and paced in my direction, I knew the man was coming for me. The closer he got, I could see his fists, swinging by his side, a sure sign he was looking for trouble. But why?
Could Frisk have been setting me up? Maybe he wanted me to get a good beating anyway, despite my debt being paid off. That didn’t seem like his style, though. He was a loan shark and a criminal, but his whole business was built on paying debts and fulfilling contracts. If word got around he rolled me after Irving paid him off, his reputation would take a hit the same as mine would.
Time was a luxury I didn’t have, however, and before I could decide what I was in for, he reached the corner.
“What the fuck do you want?” I asked, tossing the toothpick to the ground. “Didn’t I already teach you a lesson?”
The man spit on the sidewalk, gritting his teeth while he stared at me. “You fought dirty,” he said, slurring his words.
I barked a laugh, but my heartbeat kept firing up. “I fought dirty? You blindsided me and caught me with a sucker punch. At least I had the decency to hold back instead of pummeling you into oblivion.”
He took another lurching step forward, and I sprung to my toes, my fists ready to fly at his face at any moment. When he held his position, however, I remembered the advice Ezra had given me that morning.Breathe and stay calm, I told myself. It seemed so counter to my other instincts, the ones that told me to take the guy out while I had the upper hand, but I still tried to focus.
Breathe in, breathe out.Even with my heart kicking my ribcage and my hands clenching tight, I felt a little tension fade away and a little clarity return to my mind.
He was drunk, and he was clearly a bit out of his senses. This man wasn’t a real threat to me, and the last thing I wanted to do was to get in another brawl on the corner outside of the Steel Rose.
“You embarrassed me,” he said, slurring his words again. “And now you’re such a fucking pansy, you’re skipping your fight. There’s no way I’m leaving this town without getting my turn with you.”
I flexed my biceps, still thinking about my breath. “Say whatever you want,” I growled, “but I don’t have any more time for pricks like you.”
I thought he was about to start arguing with me, but I guess the time for words had passed. In an instant, the man jumped into action, springing to life on his toes. It was like the shaky, drunken motions of his body disappeared, and a well-trained fighting machine took their place, aimed straight for me.
Breathe in, breathe out,I kept thinking.This isn’t your brother. This isn’t one of your old fights.
The man swung at me first, lunging forward with an uppercut that I hadn’t expected. Instead of swinging around with a counterpunch, however, I just darted to the side, sending him sprawling forward with the force of his own body weight. Once he recovered, he turned shakily back to me, scowling.
“You’re a fucking coward,” he spat. “Running from every fight.”
He sprung forward again, both fists flying at me in either direction. My heartrate spiked, but I managed to redirect the weight of his body again, grabbing his arm and sending him tumbling to the grass by the road.
My muscles were vibrating as he jumped back to his feet, dirt stains now on the knees of his trousers. The frantic, messy energy of a brawl was building in my gut. Usually, I would release it with every blow I delivered, the pounding of flesh like a cure for the fever that raged inside of me. Without landing a blow, however, that energy just built.
God damn it,I thought. I wanted to punch that man. I wanted to punch him so fucking hard that his nose split open and he ran away sobbing. I wanted to take out all my pain like he was my own personal punching bag.
But even more than that, I wanted to never fight a man like him again. I wanted to choose my fights and struggle for the things I actually cared about instead of dealing with insecure pricks I just couldn’t shake.
Breathe in, breathe out.
The man lurched at me a few more times, cursing and swinging wildly, but every time, I managed to step aside. I sent him tumbling against the sidewalk, and with a startle I realized it was even easier to disable him than it was to pummel him. It was like the world went still, and my only job was to wear him out, to exhaust him until I was safe again.
It was Lilith’s laughter that brought me out of the trance. I sent the man tumbling to the ground, hoisting him by his own weight, and she stepped through the doorway to the bar and exploded in laughter. Pointing straight at him, she wiped a tear from her eye, not bothered at all by what she saw.
