“Right? Way to ruin the whole fantasy. What’s the point of a broody biker of a man taking you home if he doesn’t just rip your clothes off and fuck you until you pass out? Let down of the century.”
After wandering back to the bedroom and opening the chest of drawers, I agreed, “You’re tellingme.”
“Do you think he already had a lover and he doesn’t want to dishonor her?” Klara asked so quickly that her words practically blended together.
Pushing the drawer closed, I said, “Thank you for that, Klara. Like I didn’t already worry about random sex with thesebunniesas they’re called. Casual encounters are one thing, but a relationship? How embarrassing.”
I plopped down on the bed, still holding the phone to my ear.
“Katya, don’t listen to me. I watch too much television. But you even told me for years that when you took a husband, you expected him to have side pieces.”
Staring at the ceiling fan going full blast, I told her, “Yes. This is true. But that was different.” Sitting up, I grabbed a pillow and inhaled his scent. “They never had their women in the same place together. But this is like… one big familycompound. Everyone ishere.”
“But you have your own house?”
Looking around, I nodded, even though she couldn’t see. “Yeah, but the clubhouse is right there. I can walk to it. I can see it out the front window. It’s no further than my old room to the poolhouse. It would be different if I didn’t have to be faced with it.”
“Maybe hedoesn’thave a lover,” she offered.
“I’d love to believe that. But you saw him.”
She giggled. “Yes, yes I did. But just because he’s hot doesn’t mean he’s in a relationship. If my years of reading and watching movies have taught me anything, those kinds of men don’t do relationships.”
Squeezing the pillow and getting a fresh hit of his smell, I said, “That’s what I thought until I spent the whole day riding with those woman. All amazing by the way,” I said, swiping my hand through the air. “You will love them. But they’re allwiththeir men, like in love. And you saw them at the wedding, the men were all smitten. Is it so much to ask to want to be desired?”
I fell back to the bed, still grasping the pillow.
“I wish I could offer advice, but this is out of my wheelhouse as a tragically single and sexually barren woman. Can I interest you in a history of various cheeses and the best wine pairing?”
“I miss you so much already.”
“Same. Once the dust settles, I’ll try to visit. Andremember, I’m only a call or text away. And hey, no matter if it’s a biker or a mafia prince, things will take time to feel normal. You just met him. Sounds like you at least have some ladies to lean on.”
“I love you. I’ll check in soon,” I told her.
“Love you, my friend. We’ll chat soon. Video chat! Bye.”
I grabbed the charger, plugged it in behind the nightstand, then attached the phone and set it down before falling back to the bed, cradling the pillow again.
I lay there in the middle of the bed for a long time, watching the ceiling fan as I squeezed the pillow.
My eyes blinked open. I’d passed out with the lamp still on and I was in a ball on top of the covers, still in the middle of the bed, and still clutching the pillow.
I had no idea what time it was since there was no clock anywhere and the curtains were all black out curtains. But in my groggy state, I heard a noise. A noise that made my heart fall to my ass.
Maybe I was wrong. Climbing from the bed, I quietly opened the bedroom door and tiptoed down the hall. I stopped halfway down; the sound was louder. The door to the basement was just inches away.
My heart raced. I didn’t know if the door would squeak if I opened it, so instead I tiptoed closer and put my ear to it.
As I listened to the panting and rhythmic squeaks, tears filled my eyes. Swallowing hard, I backed away and paddedquietly to the bedroom. I climbed onto the bed, pushing the pillows onto the floor and tucking my knees close to my chest.
My body shook with quiet sobs that I tried to control, only making it harder to stay quiet. My fears had come to fruition so soon.My God. In my house? Our house? While I’m in it?
Covering my ears as the tears gently rolled over my face, I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could cry myself back to sleep so I didn’t have to hear that.
I’d hoped we’d at least have enough mutual respect to keep that at a distance, but we also hadn’t had time to really talk about expectations. Or did he even care about my expectations?
Gulping hard and trying to control the shaking, I reminded myself it was likely the middle of the night. Maybe he thought I was asleep. Maybe he thought he was being discreet?
