I’d been a light sleeper ever since Mama passed. He couldn’t have known. I’d just discuss it with him. Tomorrow. With a level head. It made me uncomfortable and hopefully he’d respect me enough to at least not bring them to our home.
It was so stupid to feel this way. I hated that I was… possessive? Jealous? I barely knew him and my whole adult life I knew this would be the way. I guess you never really can prepare until you’re in the thick of it. But knowing someone is yours, whether just on paper or not, made it all seem like maybe, justmaybe, they’d act like it.
Having a harder time controlling the sobs, I dug my face into the bed, clenching the comforter as a broken wail was muffled by the mattress. Finally letting go, I let it out. I’dhave my good cry now, then tomorrow I’d speak to him like the woman I was and set some boundaries.
Chapter 15
Hawk
I was an early riser and that was only compounded by the tension I was dealing with. Sleeping on the couch bed in the basement wasn’t a picnic, and knowing she was up in my bed only made it harder.
When my eyes popped open and it was only four a.m., I had to blow off some steam. I’d gone outside for a smoke, trying not to wake her as I took the stairs up. The cool air was refreshing, but the mix of that and the nicotine did nothing to calm me.
After grabbing some water from the kitchen, I snuck back downstairs and ended up working out for nearly an hour.Having a home gym was nice, especially since there were so many brothers who used the one in the clubhouse at all hours of the day. Everyone’s schedule was all over the place. Plus, the clubhouse gym was mostly open space, free weights, and two bench presses. I had a mac daddy all-in-one home gym.
My workout was intense as I thought of her. My dreams had been filled with her, and every time I closed my eyes she’s all I saw. While it was a nice change to not be seeing Pop’s lifeless body or Butch’s sneer before I made the final blow while I slept, her taking over wasn’t exactly a welcome change.
What if she was a spy? I needed Keys to hurry up with the texts and transcriptions of her calls.
After my final quick and intense set, I sat on the bench and drank my water, then stood to do some cool down stretches.
The phone said it was nearly six, so I threw my shirt and jeans back on and grabbed my boots. I kept a pair of sneakers down there for working out in, but otherwise, I only wore my boots.
The house was quiet upstairs but the light glowed from under the bedroom door. I wanted to hit the shower before I headed to the clubhouse, so I turned the knob and slowly opened the door.
When I stepped inside and put my boots down, she flinched. I was frozen for a minute. Not because I woke her up, but because the little cotton shorts she had on didn’t cover shit and her legs were tucked up close to her chest so I got a good shot of it all.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “Thought you were awake. The light was on.”
Without moving, she said, “It’s ok, I must have dozed off again.”
“I’m gonna hop in the shower. Want me to turn this lamp off?” I asked.
She leaned up, shaking her head. “No, I need to get up.”
Studying her face, it was obvious she’d been crying. My hand tingled, wanting to touch her face, console her. Instead, I told her, “No rush. No plans today. I’m gonna get out of your hair for a while after I shower. But whenever you’re up and about, you can head over and grab some breakfast.”
“Thanks. I’ll just go make a cup of coffee.”
She climbed off the bed and headed down the hall. I grabbed some fresh clothes and went to shower and get ready. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight on the counter. She’d gone through my things.
It didn’t bother me like I thought it would. Instead, I liked that she was being nosy about me. Shaking my head, I shut the door to the bathroom then turned the shower on. I had to chill about this woman. At least until I knew if I could trust her.
After I got ready, I stopped to check on her before I left. The back door was open but the storm door was closed. I walked out to the deck and she was there with a grey flannel blanket wrapped around her, scrolling her phone and drinking a cup of coffee.
“Oh hey,” she said, locking her phone. Her face was red, not just pink.
“You alright?” I asked, my hands going to my pockets. I was still warm from the shower but the air was chilled.
She nodded. “I’m fine. Just missing home. I’ll be okay. I made you a cup of coffee. Should still be hot. I’m on my second.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
My chest was tight watching her. But I didn’t know what to do. “Are you sure? Do I need to stay?”
She shook her head. “Space is good. Thanks. I’ll be fine.” She rose from her chair, her light hair loose around face as she pulled the blanket tighter near her neck with the same hand that held her phone. “I’m just gonna shower.”
“Didn’t you shower last night?”
Her red-rimmed eyes looked up and her lips thinned.
