The cold air should have grounded her, but it only made her realise how stupid she’d been to think that today could have followed on from the previous occasions. It wasn’t even about the sex, a fully formed conversation would have been enough, but Debra was quickly beginning to understand that she wasn’t a woman who entered and stayed in Billie’s world. She wasn’t a woman who even knew what she was doing with her life most days. She was just Debra Allen…divorced housewife.
Chapter Eight
The cafe Billiehad just walked into was one of the few places in London where she could go unnoticed. Small, tucked away, all dark wood and brass fittings. It was the sort of place where conversation remained low, and right now, it was exactly what she needed.
Ella usually claimed the corner table away from the window, and as Billie strode further inside and looked up, her best friend was already there, stirring sugar into her cappuccino with a smile on her face. Billie envied her sometimes. That ease she had of someone who didn’t need to plan every breath they took.
“Christ, you look tired,” Ella said as Billie slid into the seat opposite. “Late night?”
“Busy morning,” Billie replied.
“Brown & Co.” Ella tilted her head. “OrBrown & Co.?”
Billie gave her a look. “Please. Not before caffeine.”
“Double espresso.” Ella laughed and pushed a cup across the table. “You’re welcome.”
They sat for a moment, sipping coffee and taking a second to breathe. Ella had been in her life long before the business and the persona. She’d seen the version of Billie that had crumbled…and the one that came after. She’d witnessed the rebuild and thecalm Billie lived her life by, and she was the only person in this world who could get away with calling her out on it.
“So,” Ella said as she looked up. “You texted me last night about someone. What’s her name again?”
Billie cleared her throat. “Debra.”
“And Debra’s a client?”
“She was.”
Ella lifted a brow. “Was?”
Billie leaned back in her chair and traced a finger around the rim of the cup. “I cancelled her full service today.”
Ella’s brows rose higher. “Youcancelledit?”
“Yes.” She should have expected Ella’s surprise, but it still hit her hard. Ella knew Billie better than she knew herself. “Don’t make it a thing, please.”
“You’venevercancelled a client in your life.”
Billie clenched her jaw. “I know.”
“So, what?” Ella frowned. “Is she difficult? Awful?”
“No. Quite the opposite.” Billie looked out of the window, watching the blur of people passing by. Sometimes she wished she could disappear into the crowd and rebuild elsewhere. “She’s…genuine. Far too genuine for me.”
“Genuine,” Ella repeated. “You’ve hada lotof women walk through those doors claiming to be genuine.”
“This is different.”
Ella leaned in and searched Billie’s face. “How?”
“She didn’t come for control, or even for validation. She came because she wanted to remember who she was. And for a moment, I—” Billie stopped herself. “For a moment, I forgot what I was doing.”
Ella softened. “So what you’re saying is…you liked her.”
“It’s not about liking.”
“It never is with you, love.” Ella slumped back in her seat. “You’ve spent years convincing yourself that it’s just touch. Thatwhat you give them stays behind those walls. But you wouldn’t be sitting here if that was still true.”
Billie stared down at the table, the polished wood reflecting a blur of light and motion. “You remember what happened the last time I let myself believe in something.”
