“I’m here to see Thomas Adler,” I tell her quickly.
“You know where to go?”
I nod. “Yeah. I know.”
“Go ahead, then,” she deadpans, then almost as quickly as the words leave her lips, her attention is back in her phone.
“Wait,” Demi says, stopping me from moving down the long hallway that holds the target of my ire. “Do you want us to come with you? Or should we wait here?”
The old Hayes would have quickly responded with the latter. But that Hayes used to think he wasn’t deserving of partnership and affection… of unconditional love. I’m not that man anymore, though. I’ve kept too many feelings and emotions to myself for far too long. I have nothing to hide from either of them.
“I need you both there with me… please.”
Raegan leans up and kisses a cheek and Demi repeats the action on the other. “Then that’s where we’ll be, my love,” Raegan responds.
By the time we get to our destination, my pulse is hammering so aggressively through my body, I can hear the thrum of each beat loudly in my ears. I inhale a deep, steadying breath as I flip the handle and push the door open.
There he lay. The man that gave me half of my DNA, laying motionless in a hospital bed, helpless, shriveled and small. Karma really is the bitch everyone says she is. He may appear lifeless, but he’s still breathing. My guess is he’ll continue to breathe oxygen for a while just to spite me and spend my money. Jokes on him.
My legs move the seven steps it takes to get to his bedside. I hear the girls’ steps follow close behind. It’s comforting knowing they’re right behind me. That they’ve got my back.
“Hey, Dad.” That’s the last time I’ll be calling him that, but right now, I need his attention.
His eyes open lethargically as his head falls to the side in an attempt to meet my eyes. One of many lasting effects of the stroke… loss of muscle control.
His mouth opens, no doubt an attempt to speak.
“Don’t bother talking. I have zero interest in anything you have to say. You’ve already said enough throughout my life.”
He gives me a slow blink and a grunt.
“All my life, you hated me. You hated me for mom’s death. I was a fucking baby. You lost your wife, but at least you had some years with her. You got to know her… to cherish her… to love her. Although, knowing you, I’m not sure you knew how to do any of that. At least not with any level of proficiency. Still… it’s more than I ever had.”
He grunts again. I’m unsure if it’s to counter anything I’ve said or not, but I also don’t care.
“Since it takes you longer–per word–than me, I’ll just keep going. You don’t mind, do you?” I pause for half a second. “Good, then. I’ll continue.
“Do you remember mom’s friend, Dolores? From the diner? Probably not.” I’m intentionally being a dick. I know this. “Doesn’t matter. You see… she gave me this.” I hold up the letter I read just a couple of hours ago. “My mother wrote this when she was pregnant with me and it has the most interesting information in it. Her pregnancy was high risk and she knew she was likely going to die giving birth to me. I’m assuming you knew this. That you’ve always known.
“All those years. You treated me like shit… like I was a burden that you were forced to house and feed after I took her from you. I wanted you to love me, but you never did. I know that now. The hate that you bathed me in all my life caused me to lose someone very important to me.” My gaze flits to Raegan and she meets it, nodding for me to keep going. “An accident happened and all I could hear wasyourvoice in my head telling me what a piece of shit I was. Then I left her because I believed I couldn’t keep her safe. But it was all a fucking lie.
I’m sorry you lost your wife, but itwasn’tmy fault. I know that now. And now that I know it, I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for my past failures with that amazing woman over there. And if I ever become a father… I’ll use you as an example of exactly hownotto do it.”
I look back over to my beautiful, amazing and loving girls, both with tears in their eyes.
“I’m done here. You both ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Demi answers softly. “Ready when you are.”
I don’t have anything else to say to him, so I take Raegan and Demi and leave. On our way out, I stop by the front desk, drop my business card and tell Holly, “Have the business office call me so I can cut off his financing. I’m not paying for another cent of his care.” She stares at me, dumbfounded and honestly looking clueless. It doesn’t matter. I’ll call in the morning. They can set him up with state assistance for all I care, because I’m done. It’s time to finally live my life.
51
Raegan
Things have been eerily calm–in general–since Hayes faced his father and then left him behind for good. I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I replay the memory of it in my head.
It’s amazing how one thing–one moment–can changeeverything. That’s what his mother’s letter did for him. Forty-three years later and she was able to give him the peace he’s desperately needed and craved. My only wish, now, is that I had a time machine so I could go back and thank the woman myself. And maybe also to sneak a peek at baby Hayes, because who wouldn’t want to see that? I have a feeling he was the most handsome little baby.
