I wring my hands together, staring intently at the ground like it’s about to jump out at me. I don’t recall the last time I was so anxious.
I don’t know what made me text her.
I was certain she’d say no… but, she didn’t.
I don’t even know what I want to say. I just know I need to see her.
“Did you think you could earn my forgiveness by bribing me with adorable water animals?” Demetria’s dulcet voice breaks through my swirling thoughts.
I still my twitchy limbs and turn my gaze upward to meet her unamused glare.
I’m not used to being the one short on words, but the sight of her has me forgetting how to speak. Her short, silky hair is pulled back in butterfly clips. She’s sporting a fitted purple v-neck t-shirt that hugs her tits just right and gives her the most glorious cleavage I’ve ever seen. Then there’s the skirt. White and pleated, stopping just below her ass.
I need to stop staring at her before my body has an instinctual response that can’t be stopped. Let’s be real, it’s too late for that. The second I laid eyes on her, every fiber of my body remembered what it was like to be hers. I held her somewhat at arms length for our entire relationship, treating her like she was mine, when she was the one that owned me.
Fuck. I have to do something before she gets weirded out and leaves.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Demetria,” I tell her calmly.
She rolls her eyes and it causes my palm to twitch with the desire to spank her like I used to. “You’re right. You don’t,” she snaps. “And don’t call me that. You lost that right when you kicked me to the curb.”
Ouch. Okay, I guess I deserved that, too.
“I bought us tickets already. Would you like to go in?” I ask hesitantly. Fuck, I don’t know how to do this.
“Sure.” One word. That’s all I get from her.
Maybe she’s right and I did choose water animals to help my case. I just hate that I’m the reason for so much of her pain. When I saw her with Hayes, tied up and begging to come, he couldn’t see it through her arousal, but I could. The deep pain. The broken heart she’s nursing. Everything he did to her… he was an unknowing participant in her own brand of therapy and healing.
We walk through different areas, silently perusing the various exhibits. I know she’s trying to act tough and strong, and unaffected, but it’s a matter of time before she breaks. I don’t want her to fully break, but I need that hard exterior she’s built around her to crack so I can talk to her.
We turn into the underwater dolphin viewing area, finding it surprisingly empty. The glass surrounding us forms a tunnel as we wander slowly with dolphins swimming briskly past.
Demi’s fingers graze the glass as a small one comes to the glass, then swims off. “Did you know bottlenose dolphins often pair up with a mate of the same sex?” she asks, staring into the empty water, her voice laced with wonder.
Now’s your chance, Raegan. Try not to fuck it up.
“I didn’t know that,” I admit cautiously while sidling up next to her. “I’m not surprised you do, though.”
“I thought you were my bottlenose dolphin.” I don’t miss the hitch in her voice when she says the words. She’s trying not to cry and it’s killing me that I’m the reason for it. “But I don’t believe getting married to a man and eventually finding another lady dolphin to be with while still being married and never telling said lady dolphin she’s married is something they do, so I guess I was wrong.”
“Demet–”
“Don’t–”
I lift my hands in surrender. “I’m sorry… Demi. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in twenty years.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
I reach out and with my hands on her shoulders, turn her to face me. “We barely knew each other when we got married. We were both young and really fucking dumb. And then… after a month of wedded bliss… he left me in the middle of the night. And all I got was a perpetually achy wrist. So yes, I was technically married, but he ripped my heart out when he walked out the door and never looked back.”
Her brown eyes intently search mine, like she’s looking for a lie hidden within the truth. She won’t find one. I may have kept this from her, but I never lied to her and I have no intention of doing it now, either.
My pulse is racing and I may actually be breaking into an uncomfortable sweat in more than one inconvenient location as I wait for her to say… something. I hold my breath in hopes she’s not about to tell me to go fuck myself.
I don’t know what I’m actually trying to accomplish by asking her to meet me, but I do know there’s something–a spark, even–going on between her and Hayes, even if they’re not willing to admit it yet. Maybe, I just need to know she doesn’t hate me. That way, I can sign the divorce papers and go back to Kansas City and move on with my life… from both of them.
My stomach quivers at the thought and unexpectedly, it feels like someone kicked up the temperature in here. I can understand not wanting to leave her… I never did. But Hayes… why are my wires suddenly crossed when it comes to him?
